STALKERS AND NUT JOBS OF SECOND LIFE

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E Lodge, USA

Perhaps you are not aware, but there are some very strange people flying the skies of Second Life. Most of them are men. But every now and then I run into some really strange women.

A while back a gal became angry at me because I would not "take an application" from her to apply for the "position" of being my SL girlfriend. Yes you heard right. She was infatuated with my blog and wanted to be my girlfriend. She became angry when I would not "interview" her for the part.

Now this is really weird for me. I mean. I am just having fun writing a blog. In no way am I a celebrity, not in MY eyes anyway. I certainly don't have a red jaguar or ferrari yet. I am not in demand as a public speaker. My face is not plastered on SNL. Yet some gals seem to go nuts when I am around.

Not too long ago I was dancing at a nightclub in SL when suddenly from the back of the room my name rang out, "MARCOPHOTO!!!!! MARCOPHOTO!!!!!, WOOOO HOOOO IT'S MARCOPHOTO!!!" And yet another blog fan ran up and gushed that she was my biggest fan.

We chatted for awhile and left the club for a cozier place to talk...there is nothing more flattering to a man than to have a fan tell him how much she likes his work. Aaaaaannnd she began to gush about how awsome I was and how she wanted be my mistress and lover and bear all my babies. Naturally the babies part totally creeped me out, so I had to gently disengage myself from her. She really had me pinned down to that bed. "Badump ump"

But that reminds me of the strange case of Vase Polisher *All Names Are Changed to Protect the Guilty.* But of course her fake name is a play on her real SL name. So one day I was hanging out with my girl Jade (now my SL wife), when out-of-the blue I received this IM from Vase:

Vase: friggin hell i have an inventry full of your awsome blogs, and i see u "filled the position" again :( beginnin to think u tryin to tell me to get lost. sigh, oh well i give up on you...thats 3 times now, 3 different occasions

Marco: (STUNNED) Ahhh you know, Vase, we tend to fall for people that we talk with a lot and hang out with a lot. Jade is my very best friend, we have talked every day for months.

Vase: well u have to give me 10/10 for tryin, and as i dont no where u hang out so i will always be at a disadvantage

Marco: thanks for your nice comment about my blogs. :-)
Vase: even though i did ask u a longgggggggg time ago about the vampire scene, seems all i say falls on deaf ears lol...and np about the blogs, least im of SOME use lol

Marco: you know, I never have been any good at hints...they sail right over my head.
Vase: hints? how is "can i have the job?" a hint lololololololol...isn't that a hit over the head with a pan?

Marco: I never took our friendly chats as a "pass" I enjoy chatting with many people.
Vase: omg i lost my touch, well i wont say keep me in mind when u have a vacancy for a soul mate cos i will only miss the stop again LOL

A VACANCY FOR A SOUL MATE? IS THIS GIRL NUTZ????? "Is this a hoax?" I wondered to myself?

Marco: Piltdown, where is that? (from her profile, but I changed the name of her town, *wink)
Vase: england. uk, near East Sussex
Marco: are you the farmer's lusty daughter? or the farmer's lusty wife?
Vase: nah im not married hun single lass me

Marco: ahh I see, must be lonely out there.....no wonder you are flipping the back of your skirt at me. tsk tsk.
Vase: hey dont dis a girl for tryin, if u dont try u get nowhere, well i got nowhere anyways so i dont no why i bother

Marco: nooo I was just surprised at how strongly you "came on to me" since we have rarely talked.
Vase: lmfao, not that "strongly" cos u didnt get the hint
Marco: but, we have only talked, what, 3 times in a YEAR? I talk at least ten times a DAY to my girl, Jade.
Vase: what can i say u left a lasting impression

Vase: hey in my defense i wasnt online for about 3 months, and then when i came back u had taken me off your friends list.
Marco: yep. I do that when I haven't talked to someone for months and months.

Vase: but hey i have always fancied you
Marco: ahhh. well what a nice thing to say.
Vase: lol yeah, guess im just too honest for my own good lol

I shared this story with Jade this morning, and we had a nice laugh. We first met in SL in June of 2008, and as of this writing have been partnered since the end of October 2008.

Marco: I found something to write about for today. I am writing about female fans that "want to be my gf."
Jade:: ooooo....sounds interesting..this i gotta see, lol
Marco: Well, these aren't just normal fans, they are nut jobs.
Jade: lol..
marco_photo: I mean, these gals are REAL nutjobs.

CLARIFICATION: I am not disparaging any of my NORMAL fans...to the contrary, I really appreciate all my nutty fans who write to me on a regular basis....like YOU NekoGirl!! In this blog I am only referring to unhinged, OBSESSIVE fans. Like the one in Stephen King's book, "Misery."

Jade: i thought i'm nuttier
Marco: not like you babe...You and l love each other, and our relationship grew through mutual admiration...and hot sex, HAHAHA, Joking. no, I am talking about really crazy, obsessed gals. Working title: MARCO I LOVE YOUR BLOGS AND I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!
Jade:: lol!!!
Marco: now maybe if they stuck to the straight sex and skipped the babies... hmmmmm...should I put that into my blog header?
Jade:: hhhmmm....sounds interesting...where do i sign up? Is there a waiting list...?
Marco: waiting list? not for YOU. hahaha...you are THERE baby!

--Marco

P.S. Take this tp to pick up an application to be Marco's new Soulmate:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Misio/226/237/826

~~~
Thoughts for YOU to comment on today:

Would YOU like to have my babies?

If you answered no--and you are female--will you marry me?

How do feel about Jade moving in with us?

I read and answer all comments, usually within the hour. Of course I DO log off now and then, to sleep, eat, and take care of OTHER bodily functions; though sometimes I just do them at my desk. I'll leave you to figure out WHICH.

***************
Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you copy/paste this to a friend? Thank you so much!...

"STALKERS AND NUT JOBS OF SECOND LIFE"
Read all about it today at Marco's SL Humor Blog at: http://marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/

P.S. Be sure to vote in the poll waaaaaayyyyy down at the bottom of this page!