(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)
Wooop! Wooop! Wooop! Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Nnnnnngggk, Nnnnnnggggggk, Nnnnnnngggk Intruder Alert! Shields up! Yellow Alert! Shields up! Yellow Alert!
Captain Jon-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise?
Nooooo, it is the security orb of Starship Marcophoto Upshaw's private dwelling in Second Life ®. Ahhhh the burden of being a Second Life ® Celebrity! *raises his arms to shield his forehead.* NOT!!!
NO, I am not being invaded because I am some sort of celebrity in sl. Fact is, for most sl inhabitants my blog and I are not even a blip on the map....that will change...I have big goals in Second Life ®...currently we have just over 5,000 subscribers...stay tuned. This time next year we will be over 25,000, mark my words. "The boy is insane!" Yes, that may be true, but the only reason it wouldn't happen is if I did not try to do it. And do it I shall. But, I digress.
No, my home is not being invaded because I am anything special. It is being invaded because this is Second Life ®, and noobs take a while to figure out that a private home in Second Life ® is just as private as a home in RL. In the Real World, you may see a beautiful home, but you would never dream of just walking in and looking around. Oh, maybe you would like to, but you know better. You know that there may well be someone home, and you dare not walk in unannounced! If you do, the alarm will likely kick in and before you know it you will be up to your knickers in trouble....cops everywhere.
So why don't these same rules apply in Second Life ®? Well actually, they do. I remember well the day I discovered that there were REAL PEOPLE behind those cute little cartoon figures inside the pretty cartoon homes. It happened one night as I was cruising Second Life ® in the late-night hours, and came across a residential district. Now, back then I did not give too much thought about the lateness of the hour...I mean shoot, in a land where you can change the time of the day with the click of an Environment Setting, you kind of lose track as to what time of day it is. Midnight? CLICK. Not anymore, now, it is noon.
It was my first day or two in Second Life ®. I was still learning how to walk...and dress. In fact, this particular evening I was cruising around sl in my underwear. No clothes, shoes, just a pair of underwear. I was still learning how to enter buildings. Clicking on doors was new to me. Remember those days...when learning how to open the door was a big event? *laughs* Lord, no wonder we call them NOOBS. Pasty-faced noobs at that. I remember one time putting on my best flirting skills and talking to a pretty tanned thang on the beach. She was very nice, but commented that I was new. "How did you know? I asked?"
"Oh, you just have that new-look about you." she responded. "New look? What does she mean?" haha. NOOOOOOB!
So this noob is cruising around Second Life ® in the middle of the wee hours, 2 or 3 am sl time...and sees this attractive building, and decides to walk in and look around. Tries the front door. It won't open. "Darn, what am I doing wrong?" I think to myself....last time I opened a door just by right clicking on it. "Is there something else to it?" I fly around and try a couple of windows...hmmm, they don't open. I did not know how to use your camera to look inside, find a poseball, and click on Sit to enter....thank god. NOOOB!
At this point I really want to get inside this building..."What is so important inside that I am barred from entering?" I wonder.
So I circle around the building and see a deck on the second floor, with a door opening to it. I fly up there and try that door, no luck, it is locked. "Hmmm, am I doing something wrong? What should I do now?" STUPID NOOB, YOU SHOULD GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE FAST!
But the stupid noob did not move fast enough, and the next thing he knew, he was hip deep in Second Life ® Rangers! I kid you not.
They swooped in from the sky, a pair of them...tough cookies, a man and a woman, dressed in Ranger gear with the funny little Ranger hats, demanding to know what I was doing! It scared the poop out of me. It was my first brush with the RL emotion of fear inside Second Life ®, caused by these "cartoons." I stammered and stumbled and told them I was just looking around, and meant no harm, and listened to their lecture about
this-being-a-private-residence-and-would-I-walk-around-someone's-private-home-in-RL-banging-on-the-RL-windows-and-doors-at 2-am-trying-to-get-in-their-back-door? I remember mumbling something about how I thought this deck door WAS the front door, and they countered that usually front doors were on at the ground entrance. I mumbled some more apologies, and they told me to put some clothes on, and I stammered yes sir, and flew off, terrified. Really terrified. I thought they were going to close my sl account. STUPID NOOB!
But I learned my lesson, believe-you-me, and I never went peering into other people's sl homes again....at least not in such an obvious way, lol. NOW I KNOW. The PROPER sl way to be nosy and look into other people's homes is NOT to physically try to enter their home. NO the proper way is to use your CAMERA to look inside. NOW I KNOW that you can sit 600 meters up in the sky, and have your camera right in bed with someone and take pictures of them sleeping...or, ahh, doing OTHER things. Oh yeah. Proper SL etiquette, go figure.
And what is the answer to this?
Well I know of no way to block intruding cameras. And in fact one time a few months later in my Second Life ® career, a very angry husband followed his wife to my place and took a very...uhmm interesting picture, shall we say...of Velveeta Cheese and me in bed. Right in the middle of lovemaking this very graphic picture appeared in front of me, of her and I together, and a nasty comment from him followed in IM. I remember sincerely thanking him for the picture and promising to treasure it always as a memento.
WISEASS! He then muted me, sent the photo to all her friends and divorced her. I still have the photo. It is amazing how nice a picture you can take from 600 meters up in the sky.
But the best way to block pasty-faced NOOBS from wandering into your house is to purchase a security orb. They are good, fast, cheap--400 Lindens or so--and easy to set up. I have one from Thomas Conover. I highly recommend it. I have mine set to a range of 96 meters around the orb, but it stops automatically at the borders of my parcel. It gives the intruder a 10 second warning, then...
Nnnnnngggk, Nnnnnnggggggk, Nnnnnnngggk Intruder Alert! Shields up! Yellow Alert! Shields up! Yellow Alert! POOF, GONE, EJECTED!
*********
Did you like this post? If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below? Your kind words keep me inspired! Thank you! --Marco
No comments:
Post a Comment