by Lovely Devin
Wandering my way through Sl the other day I found this fine young man named dude. I took out his last name.
[19:26] Dude : Hi Lovley
[19:26] Lovley Devin: hi dude
[19:26] Dude : What are you up to babe?
[19:26] Lovley Devin: im great thanks
[19:27] Dude : You sure look like it as well.
[19:27] Lovley Devin: yeah?
[19:27] Dude : yep. You'r a goddess.
[19:27] Lovley Devin: wow, a goddess
[19:27] Dude: You know what I do to ladies like you...
[19:27] Lovley Devin: nooooooo...do tell
[19:28] Dude : I make them go wild.
[19:28] Lovley Devin: really, like how wild? do you leave your shades on?
[19:28] Dude: really really wild...usually... pleasuring them in several different ways.... but I can take them off, because of you.
[19:30] Lovley Devin: well if they make you wild you should leave them on
Now ladies I know you will be calling me all jealous trying to get his last name because he is soooo hot......but I do keep secrets of my hottest catches so bitches back off he's mine.
[19:32] Dude: Oh man you're hottie.... how about.. you wanna feel like a woman....
[19:32] Lovley Devin: hmmmm...well considering im a woman
[19:32] Dude : ...that's been satisfied.
[19:32] Lovley Devin: ohh, a satisfied woman...big difference
[19:33] Dude: I am to know...Where you from honey?
[19:33] Lovley Devin: earth
[19:33] Dude: USA?...No shit.
[19:33] Lovley Devin: lol
[19:33] Dude : Me too.
[19:33] Lovley Devin: really? so when you do all this pleasuring of all the women with the top gun shades on do you pleasure yourself?
[19:35] Dude: ,,,collateral damge usually...depend a lady as well...if she wants apiece of me. I am to give...
[19:36] Lovley Devin: ooooo a piece of you
[19:36] Dude: you're nice you know that.
[19:37] Lovley Devin: no, im not...dude you dont want to know me
[19:37] Dude: Doesn't mean I don't want to play with you....
[19:38] Lovley Devin: jack off
[19:39] Lovley Devin: cum
[19:39] Lovley Devin: squirt
[19:39] Lovley Devin: spray
[19:39] Dude: You like talking dirty?
[19:39] Lovley Devin: drip
[19:39] Lovley Devin: no, it just happens
[19:39] Dude: I see....How about?
[19:39] Lovley Devin: how about?
[19:40] Dude: a little cuddle and a piece?...What is it now?...Right. Was good to talk with you.. hmm I guess.
Damn, I lost him ok ladies you can ask me for his last name unless he's too hot for you too.
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The Biggest Dick In Second Life
by Liz Moyet
I live in a tiki hut. I like my tiny tiki hut; it's small, it's simple, and it's currently empty, except when I go inside.
Having decided to remedy that lack of furniture, I did as one must, and opened up a search window, typed in 'tiki furniture,' and chose the first link that came up. That took me to Turtle Beach Resort.
It's a nice place, or at least the furniture struck my fancy. I wandered here and there, testing furniture (sex-themed for the most part, but no variations in poseballs) and occasionally buying something.
Then: "hey u wanna try one of these?"
I couldn't see who had spoken to me, other than a name, a name which out of mercy I will not repeat.
Turning around in a circle, I finally saw the back of a male avatar who wore--quite nicely--military fatigues. He looked like a decent-enough sort, albeit rather deficient in spelling and capitalization.
But, I am an admitted snob, and will only test out sex furniture with a friend brought along specifically for that purpose. I had already figured out a relatively non-blistering means of declining his rather brusque--although not abrasive--invitation,
Having stepped in front of my would-be furniture-tester, I started to type out my polite refusal. That's when I saw The Biggest Dick In Second Life.
Frankly, I stared. I realized my jaw had dropped open, not only virtually, but in that strange "not-Second Life" dimension known sometimes as 'AFK.'
Gently closing my agape virtual jaw, I started to laugh, in the "BRB" dimension. The Dick (I can only refer to it with awe, in capital letters) was half as tall as my poor Second Life self, and was quite possibly as big around. It needed, in my opinion, its own postal code.
"Thanks for the offer, but I don't think so," I finally managed, after several long seconds of awkward silence. I don't remember even now what I had originally planned to say.
"haha, ok," replied the gentleman, and then walked away, The Dick bobbing before him.
I'm still in a state of disbelief. And I'm still not entirely certain if it was The Dick Itself who intervened and marched BOTH of our soldiers away, or The Dick's Wearer.
Right now, I need to lie down, preferably with lots of alcohol to drink, and a gentleman who has a much more moderately-sized male appendage. Otherwise, I shall see The Dick burned into my retinas until the day I breathe my last.
--- End of Story ---
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"MARCO'S TASTY TIDBITS for Monday 8/17/09 i.e., funny, strange, weird, cautionary or nice little tidbits and comments from readers. Is YOUR name mentioned?" (P.S. These tidbits are taken from various times in my SL life, and should not be misconstrued to mean that I am cheating on anybody! :-)
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OOOOO, DANIA VALOIS IS FIRED UP!
Dania Valois: HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Dania Valois: WHAT IS MY NAME DOING IN YOUR BLOG????
Dania Valois: LOL
Marcophoto: Heyyyyyyy ...oh hmmm really? hmmmmm how did that happen?
Dania Valois: ELKE said we made marco's blog lol...u usually use my initials lol...ooo payback from me and elke...u in sooooooooooo much trouble...roflao
Marcophoto: heheeeee
Dania Valois: thinking what to do what to do lol
Marcophoto: heheeee
Dania Valois: lol
Dania Valois: we dont need any suggestions lol
Marcophoto: party! party!
Dania Valois: hmm well my birthday is next month lol
Marcophoto: good good,.be sure to get pictures of my payback...so I can put THAT in the blog, too
Dania Valois: lol
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NOTHING LIKE A DANISH MUFFIN FOR BREAKFAST...
Marcophoto : back in my arms again....mmmm purrrrr....purrrrrfect.
Danish Delight: ummmm.. :)
Marcophoto : my sweet Danish Delight.
Danish Delight: nice being in your arms :)
Marcophoto : mmmm hmmmm
Marcophoto : I just love a fresh Danish in the morning!
Danish Delight: hehehe
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GORILLA'S IN THE MIST....
Marcophoto: are you a gorilla?
CutseyPoo: no i am not..
Marcophoto: you are the gorilla my dreams.
CutseyPoo: i am not even a monkey
Marcophoto: gal-of-my-dreams.
CutseyPoo: a.. gorilla-gal ?
CutseyPoo: hehe
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CURLING UP WITH A BEAUTIFUL BABY....
Beautiful Baby: i will go for a little nap
Marcophoto: good, I will snuggle up with you too.
Beautiful Baby: to much party.. food and booze this week-end...ummm..that would be nice
Beautiful Baby: but.. dont tickle me... ok ? :)
Marcophoto: kissessss...here I am, spooning you, me behind you..
Marcophoto: no farts and no tickles...deal?
Beautiful Baby: deal :) hehe
Marcophoto: lol
Beautiful Baby: can i tickle you ?
Marcophoto: can I fart?
Beautiful Baby: no
Marcophoto: go take your little nap. KISSESSSSS
Beautiful Baby: kisses :) xoxoxoxoxo
Marcophoto: pinches your tushy
Beautiful Baby: aww
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SPEAKING OF BABIES...
Sexy Friend: I have to run...have to get dressed and go find a "Bob Bob" (Sponge Bob) gift for a 2 year old's birthday party this afternoon. I'd rather poke a fork in my eye than be in a room of 2 year olds and their parents who think their kid is brilliant because they poop in the potty. *sigh*
Marcophoto Upshaw: hahahahahahah/
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SPECIAL THANKS TO LOVELY DEVIN FOR HER GUEST COMMENTARY..."HEY DUDE!"
Marcophoto Upshaw: LOVELY...I loved your little piece called "Hey Dude!" May I republish it in my blog?
Lovley Devin: yes :)
Marcophoto Upshaw: thank you, thank you....lol.
Lovley Devin: i have tons of super funny ones
Marcophoto Upshaw: Maybe I can feature you as a regular contributor....a Guest Commentator.....the pay is lousy, but I would give you credit and your own Title.
Lovley Devin: ok
Lovley Devin: i dont care
Lovley Devin: :)
Lovley Devin: its all in fun for me
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SPECIAL THANKS TO LIZ MOYET FOR HER GUEST COMMENTARY..."THE BIGGEST DICK IN SECOND LIFE!"
Heyyyyy Liz, thank you so much for submitting your great little story and picture to the blog!
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CUT RATE WEDDING...GETCHER QUICKIE ELOPEMENT AT A LOW-LOW PRICE!!!!
Lol, my tone is in jest, but the wedding service is not... From Monday, August 17th through Friday, August 21st my lovely friend and very experienced wedding officiant...Tovah Bravin is offering a sleek, quickie elopement package for JUST L$500 at her wedding venue, LET'S KNOT AND SAY I DO WEDDINGS. Do you and your honey want a lovely yet simple, fast wedding? She can put YOUR wedding together with as little as one hour advance notice! She also offers full-service weddings. Contact her inworld for all the details at
http://slurl.com/secondlife/April%20Island/206/206/502
WAS YOUR NAME MENTIONED ABOVE? Maybe it will be, tomorrow... Check back! Do you have a TASTY TIDBIT for Marco? Would you like a free plug for your new business? Have you been to a funny, interesting, strange or just plain weird sim? Tell us all about it! Send a note to me...with your link and pictures...either to marco_photo@yahoo.com, OR drop a notecard on my profile in Second Life... Marcophoto Upshaw. THANKS!
by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA
Copyrighted today, all rights reserved, except for Guest Commentators, who retain their own copyrights, and whose materials are used by permission.
Please leave a comment about anything in today's issue of Marco's SL Humor Blog:
~~~
Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a friend or two? Just copy/paste the paragraph below to a friend. Thank you so much!...
Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes!
Read all about it today in Marco's SL Humor Blog at: http://www.marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/
P.S. There are two surveys at the bottom of the page. Would you take a moment and fill them out? Just scroll aaaaaaaaaalllllll the waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down to the very bottom of this page. Thanks!
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