Dog Facts #2--Your Dog WILL Chase the Skunk Down the Drain Pipe!

This is again one of those immutable dog facts of the known universe. When you are on your vacation with your family, deep in the wild forests of Canada, approximately 900 bazillion miles away from civilization and thus any hope of removing the stinkiness of said skunk, your dog WILL chase it down a drain pipe and become SOAKED in Channel De Skunko #9!!

This happened to our family years ago while we visited relatives in Ontario, Canada. Ok, admittedly NOT 900 bazillion miles from civilization. Maybe a gazillion. But anyway. Our family of 5--mom and pop plus my sister and I and Midge the black Ragged Terrier, were driving through the wilds of Canada in our little family Vauxhall. This was a luxurious German car the size of a sardine can. Somehow Dad had rigged it up to carry the five of us plus assorted tents and camping gear for a family vacation.

Annnnd wouldn't you know it, our dear little mutt found the only skunk within 100 million miles of our encampment, and chased it down a drain pipe next to the road. I sure don't know what became of the skunk, but I sure DO know what happened next. There was a loud, piercing dog screech, and this little black terrier shot out of that pipe like she had been launched on the point of an ICBM missile, with approximately a 100 megaton force of stink waves propelling her!

OMG what a smell!

I'm sure we have all smelled the horrendous stink of skunk roadkill, as we zip down the country highways. And though we happen upon the site of the squashing many hours after it occurred, the smell can still be *Ahem* Rather strong shall we say? Strong, in a car traveling 80 miles an hour. You smell that horrid aroma for miles and miles.

Imagine, if you will, the overpowering aroma of your skunkified family dog, sitting right in the car WITH you! Oh MY. Of course we had all the car windows open, but instead of the dog hanging HER head out the window, the four of us humans, were practically climbing out the car as it zipped down the highway. And poor dad, he had to try to steer that little car, which was hard to do with his head stuck ten feet out the window, nose held high to scoop up the fresh breeze, while struggling to stretch his arms into the car to steer the durn thing.

So there we are, all four of us with our heads stuck out the windows of our car, gasping for breath, while Midge sat in the middle of the back seat, looking forlorn. AHH the idyllic family vacation!

The thing I vividly remember next was Midge sitting in a metal wash basin at the home of our relatives, as Dad and kin soaked the poor little thing in tomato juice. I suppose this was some urban legend, that the way to get rid of skunk stink was to soak in tomato juice. Dad and Uncle Bill must have bought 3 million cans of tomato paste and tomato juice from the local grocer. I am sure that all their purchases caused that grocer to have a bonus year, his best sales in decades.


Poor Midge, sat in that tub as they attempted to drown her in a gazillion gallons of tomato products. It did not work. She stank and stank and stank and STANK.

She stank sooooo bad, that we kids all banded together to demonstrate our sympathy for her plight. We created the "red rover stink contest." You perhaps remember the childhood game, where your friends would line up in two opposing lines of kids, holding hands, and then one side would sing in unison to the other side, "Red Rover, Red Rover, let Johnny come over!" And then "Johnny had to run from his side, barreling forth at top speed and attempt to break through the line of hands on the other side. If he made it, then he would take captives back to his side. If he failed to break through then he was "caught" for that side.

We created a different version of the Red Rover game.

Poor Midge the skunk-dog was tied up behind the house next to her tub of tomato juice. We kids lined up about a 30 yards away, and one by one we attempted to run past her. The first kid who could do it without vomiting was to be crowned the winner.

No one made it.

We all puked our guts out before getting past Midge.

And you know what? That smell never DID leave Midge entirely. Years later, whenever she got wet we could still smell that lingering odor in her skin. Ahhhhh the fond memories of our youth, and of our dogs! It's a fact, dog facts #2!

--Marco

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA


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