Gravity--Boobs and Bras: Only in Second Life

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA

{Editor Marco's Note: Dear Readers: I am hard at work building a new commercial website for my funny articles. It will be free, like this one. Not only will it contain my Second Life humor, but funny articles about a variety of other topics. It should be ready by July 1st. Meanwhile, I am reposting some of my older articles.}
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Hello boys and girls and all my friends....today I was thinking about sl, and what it would be like to compare the things we do in sl with rl. In other words, can you imagine doing in rl the things that are routine in sl?

For example...in RL there is an elemental force of nature called Gravity. Ahhh yess, you ladies know all about gravity, it is that mysterious force that causes those cute, pert, perky upward-pointing breasts and nipples to slooooowwwwwllllly stretch downward and point to the floor. Yes, GRAVITY. And for we men, it causes those rock-hard bands of steel that once circled our chests to slowly slide to our hip regions like flaccid hula-hoops.

This force seems to be absent in Second Life: breasts and nipples eternally point skyward and look wonderful. Chests and arms bulge with splendid hard muscles. In Second Life, this downward pulling force of nature has instead been replaced by some mysterious force I will call STICKYNESS!

Cause in sl everything sticks exactly where you place it. Do you want to place that boulder in mid-air? No problem. Just push edit, position, push the arrow, and up goes the boulder. Exit edit and the boulder stays there. Gravity only seems to work if you step off a skyplatform. Then of course you plummet to the ground like a normal person, sheesh, com'mon bud, this is reality now. Unless of course you tp somewhere else, in which case your avie "poofs" out of it's mid air plunge and reappears on tera firma, somewhere else.

And just think about this whole business of "poofing." Can you imagine such a thing in RL?
Your spouse or your boss is in your face, giving you a hard time, and "POOF" you are gone, with just a whisp of smoke swirling to mark the spot where you stood just a moment ago. And of course you can change the color of your whisp of swirling smoke in your preferences. Mine are blue.

Dancing. Can you imagine the MULTI BILLION DOLLAR industry that dancing would becomein RL if only you could run over to WalMart to pick up the latest Sex-Me-Up brand of dance animation for your real life recreation? No more slow, clumsy, dance lessons. No more experiencing the total mind-and-body numbing fear of looking like a total dork--or dorkess--on the dance floor. Noooo just go to the Dance Aisle shelf at WallyWorld and pick up the bum bumper of your choice.

I can just see me now, scanning the Dance shelves....they come packed like DVD's you know..

"Hmmmm, I think I'll have the ...."Wiggle-Waggle Hip Kick"
and the.........."Pelvic-Thrust Rocker"
And Oooooo there's my favorite the............the "Bum Spazzer" marked down 1/2 price
And a two-for-one special on the" Tit-Me-Up" and the "Come-here-Often?".. Just plug and play, or dance, actually.

There is so much more, and in weeks to come I will think on it some more.
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