by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E Lodge, USA
One fine evening, you hurry out to your car--you have a hot date at the new "Sex-Me-Up Nightclub"--you just got paid, so you have a load of cash in your wallet/purse that you can't wait to spend; you hop in your car, try to start it, and hear CLUNKETY CLUNK GRIND GROAN, GASP, POP, KAPOW, BANG! STOP. Ahh shit. The damn thing won't run. True, it has been making grinding noises for some time now, and you suspected it might need work, but you never dreamed things were THIS bad.
This is very similar to our Second Life ® experience. Since joining, you knew things did not always work quite right, the program made "funny grinding" noises, sometimes it was a pain to use, but most of the time it got you where you wanted to go until, THAT DAY........."that day" being the day of the great "Second Life ® Massacre" when SL was offline for 16 hours straight. The day they introduced the latest viewer. {Editor Marco's note, this article was first published in April 2008, after the introduction of viewer 1.19.14}
Ever since that day, the LL "mechanics" have been working on your new "automobile/viewer." And they keep telling you that "Everything is Resolved now! Yayyyyyy"....but hmmmm, why is it that you don't quite believe them? Those in the know, say that the fault does not entirely lay with the "viewer" but partly with the new "server" they just installed, the Havok 4 system. In my analogy, this would be like saying the "highway" system was equivalent to the "Havoc Server" and the Auto was equivalent to the "viewer."
They tell you "12 Million drivers can't be wrong." But you want to tell them, first off there aren't really 12 million drivers, there are only 2 million, and they each own an average of 6 cars. But even then, the "highway system" is so shitty--filled with potholes, ruts, and areas where the whole road has been washed out--that only 50,000 of those 2,000,000 drivers are daring enough to even TRY to take a drive on any given day. Only 50 K out of 2 million! So out of alllll those "drivers", only 2.5% actually DRIVE their automobiles on any given day. Wow. No wonder business is flat.
Can you imagine trying to build a mall, or an "auto-dependant" business, if only 2.5% of the drivers actually drove on any given day? What are the REST of them doing? My god, this means that 97.5% of the drivers are sitting at home, doing nothing, because the "auto/highway system"--the SL viewer/infrastructure--is too crappy to get them where they want to go. Can you imagine a politician denying a severe depression by saying "Look at how many millions of cars are out there! Everything is fine! Big Grin!!!" My god, right, millions of cars....just sitting in their garages because no one can drive the damn things.
So between the incompetent "auto mechanics", and the moronic "civil engineers", SL is a dangerous, difficult land to navigate. One is reminded of the early 1908 days of automobile production, when people drove in open carriages, and had to wear head-to-toe trench coats, helmets, and big goggles to protect themselves from all the debris and junk that flew into their faces. This was before the days of sleek, beautiful cabs and windshields....and good roads. So it is with SL.....there is the PROMISE that someday we will have sleek, concrete roads with regular, good road repair, and quiet, efficient autos swishing along on their intended course, delivering buyers and shoppers to their desired destinations....but folks, we "ain't there yet."
And something else to consider? Why does LL insist on shoving "bells and whistles" down our throats, when the basic infrastructure is being ignored? They give us Windlight and other exotic items for our viewers, but don't give us the ability to use them. This is like giving us a supersonic auto, that on a carefully-groomed, flat track is capable of going 5 times the speed-of-sound, and "ooooo ahhhh" isn't that amazing and beautiful; and so they sell it to us. But sadly, we find that this beautiful "Sonic Car" just does not "go" anywhere on a rutted, dirt track. So they just spent a huge % of their resources and time developing something that is worthless for 97.5% of us. (Hmmm, those numbers again; is that an amazing coincidence or what?) Hey guys, how about skipping the fancy stuff, and concentrate on giving us a good roadway first?
True, it is better than relying on horse-and-carriage, possibly, but not by much. So, I suppose I should thank LL for even making SL available at all, but that is not saying much, when you consider the millions of dollars (US) of REAL money that folks like you and me are spending, on the PROMISE that "soon" SL will run efficiently.
Just THINK what our economy would be like if even HALF of that other 97.5% "drove" everyday! **Sigh**
Buuuuut...this is not the first time this complaint has been made. No, it has been said again, and again, and again, and again....why don't they listen? It is almost as if they are saying to us, "This is OUR game, and if you don't like it, LEAVE!" But I want to remind them, "Hey, guys, how long would you be able to keep your doors open if we DID leave? Could you exist without all our "Premium" accounts that pay you millions of dollars every month?" This is hardly just YOUR game anymore....we have "purchased" the elegant viewers, so how about making them "driveable?"
If YOU are dissatisfied with things in "SLoppy Land", I suggest you forward a copy of this notecard to your favorite Linden. (If you can find one; they aren't exactly known for making themselves available to us, now are they?)
UPDATE: I thought this article very timely, in light of the new censorship rules and the new sex continent that LL is imposing on us. First they totally screwed the market for land, then they raised tier rates during a major recession and NOW they want to cause total upheaval in the land. Don't they see the basic issue that people have invested BILLIONS of Lindens into their businesses, and now by the "command of Cesar" hundreds and hundreds of businesses must just pick up and move? I better stop here, I feel a "whole nuther blog coming on." But my basic feeling is, that like the article above, I would much prefer they devoted their efforts to improving the basic infrastructure of sl, and leave the basic "fabric of our society" alone. I am soooo sick of seeing "grey people" everywhere I go. What fun is it to flirt if you can't even SEE the hottie you are trying to flirt with? :-)
COMMENT SECTION: Please leave your comments about what you think of the proposed new "sex continent" issue.
What do you feel about nude skins in stores?
How do you feel about all hard core fighting sims being required to move to the new continent?
Do you have any suggestions for stores that sell mixed content...some innocent and some "not-so-innocent?"
If YOU were a Linden, how would you compensate a store owner for having to split up into two separate stores.....one PG rated, and one Adult rated?
What issues in SL would you PREFER that LL devoted themselves to improving? (Rather than this censorship/adult continent thing?)
If I get some good comments, I will forward them to Linden Labs.
*****************
Did you like this post? If so, would you do me a HUGE favor to help this blog to grow? Just copy/paste the following to a few of your friends, even just one, TODAY!
"OMG....you HAVE TO check out this humor blog about Second Life ®! Marco's SL Humor Blog at http://marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/ "
Thank you so much, my friend, this will be a huge help! --Marco
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