(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)
"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
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It is a nice Friday night in Second Life ®, and you are out for a stroll with your honey, enjoying the sights and sounds after a hard, stressful work week in RL. Suddenly you become aware of these strange chopping sounds off in the distance, with a pause of several seconds after each.
"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
You draw near, wondering. Are these the sounds of a friendly woodsman chopping virtual wood for his virtual fireplace?
"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
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"CHOP!"
Perhaps, but NOW you become aware that raucous laughter and hilarity accompany the chopping. Is this a wood chopping party gone crazy? Denizens of the dark celebrating the end of the work week with a little mad wood whacking?
Not a chance. Welcome to the latest Second Life ® method for de-stressing. Welcome to Mabs' Guillotine Party, or, "How to Chop Off Your Stress With One Fell Swoop!" Yes folks, my friend Mabs is getting rid of her stress by literally chopping it off her shoulders. With a Guillotine.
It is but the latest form of stress relief that group members of Mabs' Huffy Club use to provoke Mabs to intense states of Huffiness, which she claims helps her to "get over it" and relieve her stress. So while the rest of the world is downing martini's at their local lounge and doing silly white men dances, or plunking down in front of the telly for hours of mindless brain washing...Mab's is rythmically having a few inches "taken off the top."
"CHOP!"
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It is quite a sight to see.
As you walk into the shopping plaza, there in front of the new skins and freebie boxes, is a genuine-looking French Guillotine, with a girl strapped to it. The Neck brace is in place straddling her neck, holding her head firmly in place. Her head sticks out, her long red tresses hang down. A large watering bucket lays under her head, waiting for the catch.
Rising directly above her the blood-stained guillotine blade waits to make a "clean break" of Mabs from her stress. And to her right of course, is the traditional executioner, with bulging muscles, oily skin, eye patches, long hair, and his hand upon the lever, ready to pull.
"CHOP!"
Now you become aware of something curious...the bucket is already full of heads...and there are more heads rolling around on the ground. Whose heads are they? Why, they are all Mabs heads of course, for as we all know stress it tough to get rid of: it takes more than one martini or one toke or one hour of tv to turn it off...the same goes for chopping it off Mabs' shoulders.
But thanks to the miracle called, Second Life ®, Mabs' head miraculously appears again in the same normal spot on her shoulders after a few seconds, and she is then ready for a fresh attempt to remove that dang stress!
"CHOP!"
Here then is an actual conversation from a recent "Stress-Relieving" party:
"CHOP!"
0:36] LFTD:love the crash...
0:36] LFTD:embrace the crash....
0:36] LFTD:BE the crash!!!!
"CHOP!"
0:40] Silverstar Rose UFO Sploder: Mabs has joined the sploder. Pot is now L$121
"CHOP!"
0:43] LFTD:if there's anything you wanna say to mabs....
0:43] LFTD:say it now
0:43] LFTD:lol
0:43] Mabs: oh Nuuuuu!
0:43] LH: Bye Mab's
"CHOP!"
0:43] Mabs: awwwww
0:43] LFTD:bye mabers
"CHOP!"
0:43] Mabs: that's all i get?
0:43] LH: hehe
0:43] Mabs: bye?
0:44] LFTD:lol
0:44] Mabs: do it again
0:44] LH: Nice she talks without a head
"CHOP!"
0:44] Silverstar Rose UFO Sploder: Mabs has won L$43\
"CHOP!"
0:44] Mabs: whoot i won
0:44] Mabs: let's play again
0:44] LH cheers for Mab's head
"CHOP!"
0:46] Mabs: lance you wanna chop off my head
0:46] LFTD:lol
0:46] LH: Was about to say the same thing...Looks like pain is the point here
"CHOP!"
0:47] LFTD:see mabs head roll lol
0:47] LH: lol The bucket is full they are just rolling out.
0:47] LFTD:lol
0:47] Mabs: lol
0:47] Mabs: look lance
0:47] LH cheers
0:48] Mabs: look at all the heads lol
"CHOP!"
0:59] Mabs: *makes cat hissing noises*
"CHOP!"
1:25] Mabs: ummm i'm in trouble
1:25] LFTD:if you have anything you wanna say to mab.....
1:25] SM: having fun i see
1:25] LFTD:better say it quickly
1:25] SM: yeah mab
1:26] SM: BYE!!!!!!!!!!!
1:26] Mabs: well it was nice knowing you
1:26] Mabs: goodbye cruel world
"CHOP!"
1:26] Mabs: ow
1:26] SM: we gonna need a mop
1:26] Mabs: my head can speak whoot
1:26] LFTD:nah...mab'll drink it up later
1:27] SM: cool
1:27] SM: she is a vamp
1:27] LFTD:exactly
1:27] LFTD:yep lol
"CHOP!"
1:28] Mabs: you are now in my group
1:28] LFTD:lol
1:29] Mabs: leo tell him about his duties
1:29] LFTD:lol
1:29] SM: i got duties?
1:29] Mabs: chopping off my head
1:29] Mabs: lol nah
1:29] Mabs: you have to tease mabbles lol
1:29] SM: oh boy
1:29] LFTD:nah...that's mine ; )
1:29] LH: You are now required to get Mab's all huffy from time to time. There is no max on how many time you can do this task.
1:29] SM: waht u mean by huffy....pissed off
1:29] Mabs: lol
1:30] Mabs: get in voice and i'll show you huffy
"CHOP!"
1:30] Mabs: grrr
1:30] Mabs: hmph
1:30] SM: lol
1:30] Mabs: pfft
1:30] SM: i ain't scared
1:30] Mabs: lol you should be
1:30] SM: never
"CHOP!"
1:30] LH: You have nothing to fear except laughing your self out of your chair.
"CHOP!"
1:30] Mabs: everyone's bigger than me
1:31] SM: i'll miss your head but you'll be all the prettier without it
1:31] Mabs: OMG
"CHOP!"
1:34] LFTD:head will roll
1:34] LFTD:mainly mabs
1:34] Mabs: lol
"CHOP!"
1:34] LFTD:~*~Hey You're a Crazy Bitch~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~ But you Fuck so Good ~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~ I'm on top of it ~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~*When I dream I'm doin you all night*~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~*~*~Scratches all down my back~*~*~*~
1:34] LFTD:~*~*~*~*You Keep Me Right On*~*~*~*~*~
1:34] Mabs: what i'm a crazy bitch too?
1:34] SM: u are
1:34] Mabs: lol
1:34] SM: we already know that
1:34] Mabs: grrrr
"CHOP!"
1:34] Mabs: <<<<<<<< huffy 1:34] SM: i'm good at my job 1:34] LFTD:that's why i'm choppin your head off :p "CHOP!" 1:34] LH: w00t 1:34] LFTD:lol 1:35] SM: lmao thor 1:35] SM: we want a headless crazy bitch 1:35] SM: then we ain't got to talk to her "CHOP!" 1:35] Mabs: OMG 1:35] SM: this is kinda fun "CHOP!" 1:36] LFTD:LMAO 1:36] SM: i guess this is a natural position for me. flaring up mab's PMS 1:36] Mabs: OMG 1:36] Mabs: GRRRRRRR "CHOP!" 1:37] SM: PMS lady 1:37] Mabs: grrrrrr "CHOP!" 1:37] LFTD:there ya go 1:37] Mabs: pms means pretty mean sexy 1:38] SM: sure it does 1:38] Mabs: lol 1:38] LH: Headless or not 1:38] SM: i prefer her without the head "CHOP!" 1:38] Mabs: aww lance 1:38] Mabs: OMG 1:38] LFTD:lol 1:38] SM: lol 1:38] LH: rofl Again 1:38] Mabs: ROFL "CHOP!" 1:38] LFTD:taking bids for who wants to chop mabs head off next??? 1:38] Mabs: <<<<<<<<<< but super huffy 1:38] LFTD:lol 1:38] SM: not huffy enough yet "CHOP!" 1:42] SM: throw her in the lake "CHOP!" 1:44] SM: shes got no head 1:44] SM: someone take a picture its a good look for her 1:44] SM: lmao "CHOP!" 1:44] SM: woot 1:44] SM: i'm gonna piss myself we keep this up 1:45] SM: its all good 1:45] SM: I still look better than u do. headless wonder "CHOP!" 1:46] SM: were gonna need a transfusion here shortly 1:46] SM: Yeah i am 1:46] SM: good thing u immortal 1:46] SM: still better looking without the head "CHOP!" 1:47] LFTD:good thing she's tied down 1:47] SM: hahaha 1:47] SM: it happens when pms is on "CHOP!" 1:53] SM: u sound like a blonde 1:53] SM: yeah right 1:54] SM: u have the intelligence of a dinosaur 1:54] SM: ok i was being nice 1:54] SM: how about a flea 1:54] SM: or a stuffed bear 1:54] SM: brainless "CHOP!" 1:54] SM: then we can throw u in the ocean 1:54] SM: you'll sink right to the bottom 1:55] SM: cry it away 1:55] SM: can't cry without a head Now for a change-of pace, they tie Mabs to the St. Catherine's Wheel, and throw weapons at her:
"THUNK!"
1:58] SM: throw knives at her
1:58] SM: i got swords
1:58] SM: shocking isn't it
1:59] SM: mab with clothes
"THUNK!"
1:59] Piggy Gun: bullet not found: RBB Bullet
1:59] Piggy Gun: sound not found: RBB Bang
1:59] SM: ur probably naked right now in Rl too ain';t ya
"BANG!"
2:01] SM: we know she liks it
2:01] SM: she's into that kinky shit
2:02] *CC* Ice Cream PARTY SHOOTAR!!! whispers: I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM
2:02] *CC* Ice Cream PARTY SHOOTAR!!! whispers: FOR ICE CREEEAM!
2:02] SM: can i throw a torch at her
2:02] XX G37 Carbine Burst
"POW, POW POW POW POW!"
2:02] LFTD:m
2:02] XX G37 Carbine Single Shot
"POW!"
2:03] SM: good one
2:03] LFTD:m
2:03] XX G37 Carbine Full Auto
"P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P POW!"
2:03] SM: YEAH
2:03] SM: dude it
2:03] SM: go
2:03] SM: hey mab
2:03] SM: can i throw a torch at u
2:03] LFTD:unsafe
2:03] SM: now she full of holes
2:05] SM: this is better than late night tv
2:06] XX G37 Carbine Burst
"POW, POW POW POW POW!"
2:06] SM: u have no need for your crotch
2:06] SM: u don't even got a head
2:07] SM: look at it this way
2:07] LFTD:m
2:07] XX G37 Carbine Single Shot
"BOOM!!"
2:07] SM: no more tampons
2:07] SM: WTF
2:07] LFTD:m
2:07] XX G37 Carbine Full Auto
"P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P POW!"
2:07] SM: WTF
2:07] SM: thats just wrong
2:07] SM: hopefully they ain't used
2:07] Mabs gave you tampons.
2:08] SM: lmao
2:08] SM: she no fun. its the PMS
2:08] SM: she pushy
2:08] SM: huffy bitch
2:08] SM: take a midol
2:08] SM: maybe three
2:08] SM: LMAO
2:08] SM: woot tampons!
2:09] tampons: Can't rez no copy objects from an attached object.
2:09] SM: stop teh bleedng
2:09] tampons: Can't rez no copy objects from an attached object.
2:09] SM: guess she'll have to shoot herself
2:10] SM: use your teeth
2:10] SM: if u had a head
2:10] SM: pull the trigger
2:10] SM: PAINTBALLS
2:10] SM: in the titty
2:10] Competition Archery Bow: Touch me for instructions and Arrow options.
"FFFOOOOMP!"
2:10] SM: onyl part left to decimate
2:11] SM: cool
2:11] SM: vomit
2:11] SM: out of a headless bitch
2:11] SM: arows
2:11] SM: explosive ones
2:11] SM: i liek this guy
2:12] SM: or at least prettier...oh wait....u lost ur head already are
2:12] SM: lmao
2:12] Piggy Gun: sound not found: RBB
"BANG!"
2:12] SM: it was hard for me too. if u had intelligence u coudl figure it out mab
2:12] SM: WTF is a sperm popper
2:13] SM: woot mabs relatives
2:13] SM: i am too cruel
2:13] Mabs gave you SPERM POPGUN.
2:13] SM: wow
2:13] SM: sperm gun
2:13] SM: does it coem out of my shorts too
2:13] SPERM POPGUN whispers: Use Mouselook (press 'M') to shoot me.
"SPLURGE!"
2:13] SM: 'm'
2:13] Mabs: lol idk SM you tell me
2:14] SPERM POPGUN whispers: Use Mouselook (press 'M') to shoot me.
"SPLURGE!"
2:14] SM: woot buttake
2:14] SM: spermy mab
2:14] SM: yeah it is
2:15] SM: hey mab look at it this way
2:15] SM: at least u ain't gotta swallow
2:15] SM: damn i'm good
2:16] SM: u need a brain mab
2:20] Can't move object 'spermbullet' to
{ 64.023, 220.724, 25.6846 } in region Dreamscape Cove because the parcel does not allow objects to enter.
"SPLURGE!"
2:20] SM: i tried to ship her woudln't work
2:20] SM: duck man
2:21] SM: nipple gun?
2:21] Piggy Gun: sound not found: RBB Bang
"BANG!"
2:23] SM: now i'm hungry
2:23] SM: get back in the kitchen woman
2:23] SM: KITCHEN WOMAN NOW!
2:24] SM: i'm goodf
2:24] ADgave you Nipple Cannon.
2:24] SM: i'm going easy on her
2:24] SM: cuz i like her
2:24] SM: you should see what i'm like if i hated u
2:24] SM: booowoooo
2:25] Nipple Cannon: Can't create object 'Object' because the parcel 'Silverstar Rose' at Dreamscape Cove 22.5957, 216.802 is full.
2:25] SM: should i chop her head off with the sword
2:25] SM: until it don't come back
2:26] SM: na i'm a metalhead nothing noisy
2:26] *CC* Ice Cream PARTY SHOOTAR!!! whispers: I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM
2:26] *CC* Ice Cream PARTY SHOOTAR!!! whispers: FOR ICE CREEEAM!
2:26] SM: ICE CREAM
2:26] SM: lets lick it off her
2:26] SM: with files
2:26] Mabs gave you Lemming Launcher 6.0 rapidfire.
2:26] SM: LMAO
2:26] SM: nipples
2:27] SM: lets file em off
2:27] SM: file em off
2:27] SM: file!
2:27] Lemming Launcher 6.0 rapidfire whispers: Use Mouselook (press 'M') to shoot me.
2:27] SM: we can burn em off
2:27] SM: better tahn file
2:27] SM: be glad i like u mab
2:29] Piggy Gun: bullet not found: RBB Bullet
2:29] Piggy Gun: sound not found: RBB Bang
"BANG!"
2:31] SPERM POPGUN whispers: Use Mouselook (press 'M') to shoot me.
"SPLURGE!"
2:31] SM: yeah right
2:31] SM: with the microwave
2:31] Mabs: ~*~ GAH!!!!!!!!!!! ~*~
2:31] Mabs: ~*~ GAH!!!!!!!!!!! ~*~
2:31] Mabs: ~*~ SWOONS ~*~
2:31] SM: kick while she's down
2:32] Mabs: ~*~ GAH!!!!!!!!!!! ~*~
2:32] Mabs: ~*~ SWOONS ~*~
2:36] SM: thats hot
2:36] SM: slutty and brainless....what else could u ask for
2:37] SM: FINE> NOW GO COOK BREAKFAST WOMAN
2:37] SM: u got hungry men to feed
2:43] SM: HEY mab.
2:43] SM: can i keep the head
2:43] SM: throw it in the ocean
2:44] SM: and pee on it
2:53] SM: now u in trouble mab
2:53] CD: Having fun Mab. :)
2:53] SM: 1 headless bitch
2:53] SM: 2 headles bitch
2:53] Mabs: lol my tormentors
2:53] SM: 2 headless bitch
2:53] SM: 4 headles bitch
3:03] Competition Archery Bow: Touch me for instructions and Arrow options.
"FFFOOOOMP!"
3:03] CD: Yes
3:03] Practice Arrow: You've hit AP_wheel.
"FFFOOOOMP!"
3:27] LH: ...My voice is going in and out and I really should get going here....Leo thanks for letting me watch Mab's get her head cut off and the crap shot outa her...Mab's CDe I'll see you 2 later on I'm sure.
3:28] LH waves
3:28] Mabs: thanks lance
3:28] LFTD:lol
3:28] Mabs: my pleasure lol
3:36] Mabs: ~*~ GAH!!!!!!!!!!! ~*~
3:36] Mabs: ~*~ SWOONS ~*~
3:36] Mabs: ~*~ GAH!!!!!!!!!!! ~*~
3:36] Mabs: ~*~ SWOONS ~*~
3:37] LFTD:love the crash...
3:37] LFTD:embrace the crash....
3:37] LFTD:BE the crash!!!!
Awww...isn't she cute? Finally after being guillotined countless times, stabbed, shot, spermed, lemminged, and generally "huffied," Mabs' is now destressed and ready to rest.
3:38] Mabs is Offline
"And to All a Good Night!"
The End.
*********
Did you like this post? If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below? Your kind words keep me inspired! Thank you! --Marco
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