(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)
{Editor Marco's Disclaimer: The statements in this article are not intended as a "slam" against the beauty industry in Second Life ®...but a "slam" against the beauty CONTESTS in Second Life ®. Really, they are not beauty contests at all, but are popularity contests. Besides, my job is to exaggerate facts in order to bring out the humorous kernel of truth in various aspects of life in Second Life ®. If I am not offending SOMEONE today then I am probably not doing my job.}
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"Here she comes, Miss America........" Do you remember the grand theme song from those old pageants? And so we are off to the runway races with another zany blog from Marcophoto. This time we are talking about Beauty Contests (BCs) in Second Life ®.
What a strange duck they are aren't they? I mean for one thing everyone in Second Life ® basically looks the same. Ok ok, so that is not completely true...there are maybe 30 different avies, and THOUSANDS of variations of them. A slightly different hair color or lipstick or eye shade; maybe the butt or bust on this one is bigger or smaller than that one. But the fact is that basically they all look the same. I have a couple friends who make skins that are gonna hate me for saying so, but it is true.
During my time in Second Life ®, I have dated dozens and dozens of gals that all basically looked alike. In knowing them, the differences were very evident; their personalities were totally different. Many are still close friends to this day, I talk with them often. But photo wise? Sheesh I could have been dating identical sisters...not TWIN identical sisters but the Dozenette sisters...if there is a word for a dozen sisters that look identical. I should call them the Clozens; clones by the dozen.
So what IS the difference between differing avies in Beauty Contests? Honestly I think the only difference is in the way the photographer presents them; the camera angles used, and the photoshopping done to the final picture.
From what I can tell they really are not "Beauty" contests, but rather they are "Popularity" contests. In the good old days BCs were decided by a panel of judges. But as we all know, in Second Life ® they are decided based on the number of people you can motivate to come vote for you. Do you have a looooong list of friends and calling cards? Can you work those cards bayayby? Get on the phone and start your calling! You can do it baby, you can win!
What I really hate these days are the contests that require you to PAY to vote. What a SCAM! So what if they are giving out 12 K to the men and 12 K to the women. The sponsors can easily end up making a huge profit after the payout.
I went to one recently...having been "guilted" into coming and when I arrived I found I had to pay 50 L to vote! I was so angry. Now, 50 L is nothing...a drop in the bucket. But I felt like I had been tricked by my "friend" . And I couldn't just turn around and leave because she was standing right there at the voting site. In the end, I paid, voted for her, left, and deleted her from my list. What kind of friend tricks me into something like that? "None" is the answer...not any who stay on my friends list anyway.
PUHLEEZE don't im me and ask me to come vote for you in a contest. Recently I decided to make it a policy to NOT vote in ANY contests....not BCs, not dance club contests, not ANY. Shoot I was getting two a day for awhile there. I'd be deep into writing a blog and some sweet-young-thang would beg me to PUHLEEEEEEZE COME VOTE FOR ME RIGHT NOW, IT IS MOST DESPERATE, I NEED YOUR VOTE NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW CUZ THEY WILL PULL MY ARMS AND LEGS FROM MY TORSO IF YOU DON'T COME RIGHT NOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!! And so she would guilt me into dropping MY important tasks to run off and save HER arms and legs. Can't have them running around without any limbs now, can we? *sly wink.
Ohhhhh the heartbreak of limbless beauties rolling around SL on their torsos! They look like tumbling tumbleweeds as they blow in the wind, bumping and twirling end over end along the sl landscape. But *sigh* we would still have the BCs even then. Before long they would be begging us to come vote for them "CUZ IF YOU DON'T THEY ARE GONNA PULL MY HEAD FROM MY TORSO AND THEN WHERE WILL I BE? WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Coming soon to a BC near you, the Contest Hawker will be hollering:
"But Wait, there's more! Vote now on this limbless beauty, and we will DOUBLE your purchase! That's right if you send in just $19.95 we will DOUBLE your cutiepetutie contest winnings! You will save TWO cuties from losing their beautiful heads. AAAAAAnnnnnd You'lll also get this handsome cutie carrier."
"Oooohhhhh AAAhhhhhh" the crowd roars.
"Act NOW and we'll send you this handy carrying case!!!!!! You'll get this set of twin baby strollers, to roll your limbless beauties around in alllll day long...Just think, you can save two limbless beauties from having their heads pulled off, and then push them around sl in this matched set of twin baby strollers!"
But that has all stopped because as I said, I refuse to go vote in contests. So if you see an avie torso bumping across the tarmac without arms or legs well that is one of the avies I REFUSED to vote for...it's all my fault, "Ohhhhh the heartbreak of limbless avies!"
Where do I come up with this stuff? I am a very very sick man....now if you will excuse me I have a blog to write, and NO I will NOT come vote in your contest, so you better just get learn how to get around SL by rolling end over end.
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Did you like this post about "living" in Second Life ®? If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below? Your kind words keep me inspired! Thank you! --Marco
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