(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)
You would think that ALL service providers or businesses in Second Life ® would understand that unhappy customers can ruin their businesses....just as happy customers can make them a roaring success. They say that 1 UNhappy customer will tell 100 other people about their experience, while one HAPPY customer will tell 10. So though a business must be careful to please the Happy customer, he/she should go out of their way to make the UNhappy customer...well...happy.
You would think that ALL shop owners would understand that it is CUSTOMERS that drive their economic machines; HAPPY customers at that. Yet some do not seem to understand this basic concept. Some shop owners seem to think that all they have to do is to set out their products and then collect their money, not caring if the customer is pleased or not.
Today, I present the story of two different UNhappy customers. The first is a reader named Frenz Bailey--(her actual Second Life ® name, used by permission)--writing about her recent experience at Club Relic. The second, is myself, writing about a bad experience I had some time ago at The Script Shop, owned by Baller Projects. This is now the third time I have written about Baller. At the bottom, I will have a few thoughts about how the two of them can get together and "merge" their asses...oops, I mean their "ass-etts" did I do it again? Twice? hmmmm.
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Here is Frenz Bailey's bad experience:
Club Relic ~ Masters of Banning,
The day started as another lovely day on SL, after logging in I found out that my friends, hunter A and hunter E, were not online. Shit..... I miss them both, could use some time with them, hanging around, acting like fools....... hm, what to do now, all alone in this big crazy Second Life ® world.
Then I remembered Eve's blog about stripclubs, clubs of a dying kind. So I decided to do some research about that, seeing with my own eyes what Eve was telling us about.
Ok, open up search, go to the places tab, type "strip" (make sure to show mature ;-p) click ok and yes, a list appears to tp to and check out. My eye caught a place called Club Relic.
It caught my eye because they called it a harem and I haven't seen sl harems so far, so could be nice to check the building out too. Actually, it was an escort harem, but hey, could be fun to check out, I now had this picture in my head of young girls, lined up in a harem, waiting for any customers (maybe I have to tell first, that I am not interested in Second Life ® sex, so it always surprises me to see that there are people who are willing to pay for Second Life ® sex......... please dont let me think about this too long.......... )
So, Club Relic was the chosen one, click tp, uh oh, TP is taking a bit longer time, hope I dont crash, "contacting new region" , yaayyy I arrived ;-) After rezzing the place I saw this bridge I had to walk over and as I came closer, a harem showed up at my horizon, now this moment I realized already, that I didnt need to check the building, it was just a square block with a few harem towers (dont know how to call these arabic building towers and I am too lazy to go look it up) When entering this escort harem, I noticed the inside wasnt much better, there were dancingpoles lined up at each side of the harem, so that when you walk to the back of the club, you only need to turn your head to your left and right to see what kind of flesh is being offered. Some Arabic carpets on the floor and that was pretty much it. Maybe I was feeling the most sympathatic about those carpets, cause they really couldnt help themselves for being there, just been rezzed on the floor, making it look like an Arabic place, doomed to watch the Relic Escort scene, until being picked up again or being returned to the inventory.
As I was standing there at the entrance of the harem, zooming my cam around (err, yes, I admit, I was checking out the meat) a Relic girl greeted me, its always nice to be noticed, even after the two minutes I was already there. This was the little, interesting, funny and yes oh so intelligent conversation that followed:
[23:02] RELIC GIRL: hello Frenz
[23:02] You: hey there :)
[23:02] RELIC GIRL: welcome to relic
[23:03] RELIC GIRL: can I help u hun
[23:04] You: I dont think I look like I'm needing help hun ;-) lol :)
(I have to explain here, that my avi is a very well built one, great skin, hair and clothing, so my comment was only a joke about myself, how my avi looks like it really doesnt need help, and err, how silly we all are, buying all this stuff for your avi to look nice, but hey, thats a whole other kind of story) (Ah and yes, normally the ;-) and the lol putting behind a phrase helps it to let other people know you are only joking around a bit) lol ;-)
But I found out, that only in normal clubs, with normal thinking people this would sound like a joke, now in a place that calls itself the best escort club in sl, this is not taken as a joke, oh no, not here, here the people are so much better then all other people on sl, the people who work here are always right, no discussion needed, they know they always make the right decissions. Ok, the "convo" went on:
[23:04] RELIC MADAM: please dont be rude to my girls
[23:05] You: omg, that wasn't rude
[23:05] RELIC MADAM: she was trying to be nice to oyou
[23:05] You: and I just answered with a little joke
[23:05] You: if you think THAT was rude......
[23:05] RELIC MADAM ejected and banned you from this land.
There I was, my avi bouncing up and down again on a red no-tresspassing line, suddenly having this deja-vu about a nude beach, reading back in history, to read again my rude part, how could I have been this rude to this Relic Girls. Omg, I am so ashamed of myself, really, normally I am just a very cute person, please ask Eve, she really doesn't know me this rude. Aaahhhh enough with the shit, this place sucks big time, maybe they thought I was only there to steal away their customers??!! (eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww) (which customers?) Maybe I will go back someday with my male alt, to see how they would suck up to him (wicked grin)
Ok, well, so far my investigation about stripclubs ended, after being banned after 1 minute I had my banning portion for today. And to tell you the truth, right now I feel proud of being banned this quick, without even being a complete ass, so........ I dare you all, follow this URL to club Relic (copy and paste it into Local Chat, Say it, Read history, click the URL, LM to tp to) and find out if you can beat this mistress of being banned, har har, would love to hear some juicy stories about your efforts ;-)))
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Fantasy%20Dream/125/151/41
Frenz (Eve's hunnybun)
Cannot be addicted together, no really, I am not addicted.......... yes I am sure I am not addicted......... tp-ing back to RL.........
{Editor Marco's Note: LoL, just to be fair, I stopped in at Relic, and it was just as Frenz describes, except there was one customer there, male, and he was being yelled at by some management dude to "get off the dancepole, they are only for the girls." This was said in open chat no less. The guy left, and I left with him. So much for creating a friendly, welcuming atmosphere.}
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My kindred experience to Frenz came about when I went to The Script Shop, owned by Baller Projects.
I picked out a $499 script, paid for it and waited patiently for delivery: 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 MINUTES! It never came. I was new then and did not know the standard routine about clearing my caches, relogging and looking in my Lost & Found. But I waited and waited (shopping around the store meanwhile) and after about an hour I was getting pissed. I don't know about YOU but $500 smackeroos are a lot of money for me, be they Lindens or not.But wait! I saw something in the store that promised an answer. There was a large upright postal-style mail box, and a sign labled: In-Store Complaints. It said to create a notecard, explain the problem and drop the card in the mailbox, addressed to the owner, Baller Projects. Great! I followed the directions exactly; put my name in the title line, put a record of my purchase and payment inside, closed it....dropped the notecard into the mailbox....waited 5 minutes...and BAM! I WAS SUDDENLY DANCING IN THE AIR, BOUNCING AGAINST THE RED "NO ENTRY" RED TAPE!!! The little weasel had ejected and banned me from his store!
Wow! Talk about a new LOW in customer service! Does Mr. Baller not understand the basic concept that 1 unhappy customer will tell at least 100 other people about their unhappy experience...each of whom will in turn tell 100 others? And in MY case, since I write this blog for a great number of people--currently over 4700--who will in turn tell 100 others each, that means that this 1 unhappy customer has turned away 470,000 potential customers...and each of them may turn away more potential customers as word spreads to avoid Mr. Baller's store.
While writing this story (the second time around), I stopped by his store in an alt and actually found him present!
He was decked out in a fine suit, was smoking a big fat cigar, and was wearing ENORMOUS diamonds in each ear. I thought to myself, "Yeah, buddy, you are wearing stolen profits in your ears."
Standing right in front of him, I IM'd him one more time, giving him one last chance to give me a refund before writing this story:
Marcophoto Upshaw: Mr. Projects...I bought a script for $499 and it was never delivered, When i asked for a refund you ejected me from your strore. I am about to write an article about it to publish in sl...do you have any comment, or would you like a chance to give me a refund at this time?
wait, wait, wait
Marcophoto Upshaw: Ok Baller, have it your way.
Marcophoto Upshaw: I write for a large group in sl.
I filed a complaint with the Lindens, but I never did receive either the product OR a return of my $500 lindens. And it seems to me, that along with his instructions for filling out a complaint card, that he easily could have explained the procedure of clearing your caches, relogging and checking your Lost & Found...if he was honestly trying to help. No, I personally think the "Mail Box" was a dodge...a way for him to quickly identify people who might make trouble for him, and ban them from the premises.
By the way, as I was preparing this third write-up of the story, I tried to tp to The Script Shop, but apparently it is out of business. I wonder why? However, it looks like Baller has a NEW script store, he is calling it The Script Animation Factory. . I went there in the interest of accuracy for the story. In about one minute, BLAM I was ejected from his land! HAHA! I HAD NOT SAID ONE WORD! What a jerk.
So what is the "moral of the story" here? I wish I knew. But maybe Baller and Club Relic should merge their businesses. Together they could reach new lows of customer service! Together they could find new ways to fuck you over, with a smile. You think you were screwed before? Just wait until Baller thumps you in the face with his ...uhm, eheum...Relic!
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Did you like this post about "living" in Second Life ®? If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below? Your kind words keep me inspired! Thank you! --Marco
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