You Might Have Been On Second Life Too Long If: ....Part 1

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA

{Editor Marco's Note: Dear Readers: I am hard at work building a new commercial website for my funny articles. It will be free, like this one. Not only will it contain my Second Life humor, but funny articles about a variety of other topics. It should be ready by July 1st. Meanwhile, I am reposting some of my older articles.}
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a compilation from various sources....but most are from Second Life on Flickr

"I can't rez dinner!.....
........And one size does NOT fit all in real life...lol"
(CallieDel Boa)

I called my husband by his Second Life name over dinner with my family.. everyone looked at me like...who is that?
(Lessandra Sandial)

You know you are to long inSecond Life if you wish you could eject your RL friends knocking at your door while you are in Second Life. (Lilith Ivory)

When you look in the mirror and go "wtf.. who is that", expecting to see your avatar..(Alexis Stapovic)

My three-year old son asked me one evening what I was doing, I told him that I was buying a helicopter. The next day, he was really upset because there was no helicopter outside the house.
.....lol......I kid you not...he didn't stop crying about it for the entire day when he realised that we weren't getting one. Try explaining the concept of Second Life to a three-year old....let me tell you ...it ain't easy...by PocketPfeffer

When you look in the mirror and go "wtf.. who is that", expecting to see your avatar...(Alexis Stapovic)

When the name "Ruth" utterly terrifes you...(Torley)

...when you are more concerned about an Second Life friend who hasn't signed in in two days, than your mother who you haven't phoned in three weeks.
...when buying a house you ask how many prims it is, rather than how many rooms...(Khamundy Mannonen)

When George Clooney calls you up and asks you out on a date, you say no cause you're in the middle of organizing your inventory! (well, that hasn't actually happened yet, but ya never know) (PocketPfeffer)

When you have to take prozac because Second Life is upgrading and will be shut down for most of the day.. (TarinaSewell)

I said lol on the phone. I was talking to another Sl user...she lol'd too. (Cherish Hellfire).

When you see a girl in a nice dress walking down the street and you think "sweet texture job". (Eden Gable)

When you no longer need an alarm clock to wake you up, you dream you've received an IM and go to reply but there's no keyboard, so you wake up and run to the computer. It seems so real and yes this has happened before and just happened again. (CallieDel Boa)

When you start yawning and stretching randomly while your friends talk, you explain to them that you can't help it cause it came in your AO. (Annette Voight)
When you enjoy shopping in Second Life more than RL - you look better in and can afford them more. (Karinastella Akina)

When you are doing the ermmm...yeah...with your rl man and shout your Second Life man's name out....ooooh instant shrinkage....
.....Plus a five hour who is so and so and why did u shout his name out???
.....And yes this did happen lol..... (Luna Silverstar)

When you have your meals at the computer, juggling between mouthfuls of food and typing. (Kucinta Moody)

When you are talking to a friend and they start annoying you, and you just want to right click and mute them. (Lynn Ouchita)

Someone is trying to make plans with you RL and you think of anything you had planned in Second Life that RL might conflict with and work around Second Life so you don't miss out on your Second Life time!! =p omg PLEASE tell me Im not the only one! O.O (Cylest Starbrook)

Anytime you see the word Cyber...you think sex!
(Velveeta Biedermann)

When you wake up in the morning and stumble to your closet with that certain outfit in mind, then realize, you dont own that in rl :o) (abitof Cin)

I used "I haven't rezzed yet" as an explanation for the morning stumbles during the 60 minutes after waking.
(Briian Messmer)

OH! And when my RL ex is stuttering.. I tell him hes lagging.
(Morgana Hilra)

Whist I sat at my computer, I heard a scratching noise. It was my cat. He wanted to get back into the house and as he strolled in, I said "welcome back!" *gasps* (Kucinta Moody)

When you "/me" to emote in instant message programs *such as yahoo, or msn* (Ekio)
I just used this one moments ago...griefer. I called someone a griefer in real life & was stared at. (slalcoholics)

The thing that actually made me worry about myself was when I woke up late one morning, went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, said "WTF happened to my lip and eyebrow piercings ..." and then went to check the bed to see if they'd fallen out during the night. (I don't have any in RL :/) (Rosi Vinson)

When you are in RL bed, want to roll over etc and instead of just doing it you touch the bed expecting a menu to come up for you to select a pose. (Kouse)

Okay.. reality check.. things aren't rezzed in real life? put on glasses.. check.
.....shoe missing? no I wont find it up my tailpipe.
The sun really IS rising and no I can't roll it back to midnight.
.....No, I cant go hang out in a night club and have them drop $25 on me just for showing up and chatting. (or.. if they did, nobody would leave at closing time!)
.....That dress I bought is red, it's going to stay red unless I throw it in the washer with some Rit dye, or too much bleach.
and finally... Ruth is a neighbor, not a state of my own being.
.....(no.. the list really doesn't end, does it?)
I think I'm still ok here. (Phoenixa Sol)

When you put /me laughs or /me nods knowingly in your work emails to your RL boss. (Chixxa Lusch)

...when you start to wonder where RL people got their shapes/skins/hair/etc or if they made them.
....I am a teacher and today i saw at least 3 girls in the hallway that made me "wonder where they got those skins.....oh yeah...born that way" (Elysium Eilde)

When your local RL community Symphony group sends you an invitation in the mail to come to their Free spring concert, you rant and rave about that "DAMN GROUP INVITE SPAM!!", and send them a nasty letter threatening "TO HAVE THEIR ACCOUNT SHUT DOWN FOR UNAUTHORIZED ADVERTISING!!!!" (Marcophoto Upshaw)

You are "an older avatar" and get incensed that several local groups in your RL community "VIOLATED THE TOS" by sending you multiple pieces of "junk mail", thus "HARASSING YOU"...and so you go on a one-person crusade to have the business permits revoked for your local nightclub, clothing store, and free neighborhood newspaper. (Marcophoto Upshaw)
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Did you like this post about "living" in Second Life?  If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below?  Your kind words keep me inspired!  Thank you!  --Marco

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Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a friend or two? Just copy/paste the paragraph below to a friend. Thank you so much!...

Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes!
Read all about it today in Marco's SL Humor Blog at: http://marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/

P.S. There are two surveys at the bottom of the page. Would you take a moment and fill them out? Just scroll aaaaaaaaaalllllll the waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down to the very bottom of this page. Thanks!