Excerpts from "Marco's-Funny-Chat-Group" #2 with commentary from Marco

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA

{Editor Marco's Note: Dear Readers: I am hard at work building a new commercial website for my funny articles. It will be free, like this one. Not only will it contain my Second Life humor, but funny articles about a variety of other topics. It should be ready by July 1st. Meanwhile, I am reposting some of my older articles.}
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For today's reading pleasure, I bring you excerpts from "Marco's Funny Chat" group from 4/1/08, with my brief commentary in the titles. We talked about "getting a man" and SL pregnancy, and women's clothing sizes, and serial husbandry, among other wild and crazy topics. --Marco

"HOW GUYS GET MARRIED" or "LIKE A FISH OUTTA WATER"
[14:37] Marco: Whatz new with my crazy crew?
[14:38] DD: nuttin huney
[14:38] CP: i am scuba diving lol
[14:38] JW: marco!!!! alot new lmao
[14:38] Marco: Oh yeah? Whatz new JW?
[14:38] JW knows someone who is getting married just unsure of when
[14:38] Marco: ahhhh you?
[14:38] JW: mhmz
[14:39] Marco: lol
[14:39] JW: lol
[14:39] CB: Hi Marco
[14:39] CB: Hi everybody
[14:39] Marco: Congratulations! Does the guy know it yet?
[14:39] JW: roflmfao
[14:39] Marco: Hi CG!
[14:39] Marco: lol
[14:39] JW: screw you marco, lmao he is the one who said it... you brat
[14:39] Marco: Ya know, we guys are the "rod" and you gals are the "reel"
[14:40] JW: lmao shup
[14:40] Marco: We cast the bait, and you reel us in
[14:40] DD: so what's the "bait"
[14:40] JW: lmao
[14:40] Marco: hahaha
[14:40] JW: the kids after wards
[14:40] Marco: ohhh, maybe a big house
[14:40] Marco: or a studly body
[14:40] DD: last I looked, no 3 sexes available
[14:40] Marco: or good moves.
[14:41] Marco: naaaaaa
[14:41] Marco: the guy casts bait of good flirting technique...or wads of cash, or a nice place....or just a nice, respectful personality...
[14:42] Marco: maybe his bait is that he is a gentleman.
[14:42] Marco: or, super hot
[14:42] JW: lol
[14:42] Marco: and then, the girl decides to accept the bait
[14:42] JW pleads 5th lmao
[14:42] DD: humpf
[14:42] Marco: and then she reels him in until she lands him.
[14:42] Marco: right?
[14:42] KN: lol
[14:42] JW: lol
[14:43] Marco: and then, when we guys are on the dock, jumping around like a "fish out of water" we try to figure out what the hell happened!
[14:43] JW: rofl
[14:44] DD: ahhh but then you flop loose
[14:44] EL: you get up the aisle see the holy water and jump right into the deep end
[14:44] Marco: YES EL!
[14:44] DD: spit out the hook and back in the water you go
[14:44] EL: never being able to take a breath by your self again
[14:44] Marco: next thing we are at the alter, wondering when we lost control!
[14:45] Marco: altar
[14:45] Marco: haha...we might as well call it what it is...not the altar, but the "alter" cuz after the ring goes on the finger, she starts "altering" us.
[14:46] Marco: haha right?
[14:46] JW: whatever lmao
[14:46] Marco: but it is all good, because we love our cutiepies.
[14:46] MN: wow and i thought i was nuts
[14:46] EL: but we will never be satisfied.... drag you shopping with us then decide we would rather be with our girl freinds
[14:46] Marco: MN, You ARE nuts.
[14:46] JW: right EL lmao
[14:47] EL: lol dont do it JW
[14:47] Marco: EL! lol...so true. we guys make lousy "shopping partners"
[14:47] JW: lol but but but
[14:47] JW: lol
[14:47] Marco: MN, did I make you HUFFY?
[14:47] JW: least this one aint like my first sl husband lmao
[14:47] MN: yes but see that's part of my charm marco
[14:48] TR: You guys are a hoot!
[14:48] Marco: hhaha
[14:48] Marco: TR, I am doing "research"
[14:48] JW: he has me on voice while he is sleeping and i can hear him turning lmao
[14:48] TR: really......
[14:48] Marco: tomorrow, you will all be, EL, and TR, and MN, and CG, and JW
[14:49] JW: lmao
[14:49] Marco: I can hear EL scratching her head from here.
[14:49] EL: EL always scratches her head
[14:49] EL: i have kids
[14:49] Marco: EL...tomorrow this will all be in my blog.
[14:49] TR laughs...you gonna give us group tags Marco?
[14:49] Marco: haha


"GIVE ME YOUR TIRED, YOUR WEAK, YOUR LONELY THONGS, YEARNING TO BE FREE"
[14:50] JW: omg marco shup lmao leave EL alone or ima come down and shove my thongs in your mouth lmao
[14:50] Marco: Good idea!
[14:50] TR: thongs! hey JW, he might like that!
[14:50] JW: i know right lmao
[14:50] TR: yeah, hehe
[14:50] EL: haha EL also is a good shot marco might make good target practice
[14:50] JW: focker still aint taken em off with his teeth yet lmao
[14:50] TR fingers the whip on my hip....on the other hand.....
[14:50] BBR: howdy folks
[14:52] Marco: So BB...are ya new in these h'yar parts?
[14:53] BBR: new to this chat, not to SL

"THE LINDENS WREAK HAVOC" or "GIMME a "C", GIMMIE a "H", GIMMIE a "A*O*S", WHAT'S THAT SPELL?"
[14:55] Marco: hey did you guys hear the lindens started new servers today, that are supposedly less "crash prone"...and get this...
[14:55] Marco: the system they are using. is called "Havoc."
[14:55] BBR: appropriate name
[14:56] Marco: for pete's sake, they might as well have called it "Chaos" or "Totally F****d."
[14:57] EL: ah sl dont you just love to hate it
[14:57] EL: or "we take your lindens for crash sake"
[14:57] Marco: haha
[14:57] Marco: I tried to tip a DJ $250 L, and the Lindens gave her the $250, but took $500 out of my account. I'm not even going to bother filing a claim, I've NEVER heard back from them after filing an abuse report.
[14:57] JW: mhm lmao damn lags and crashes
[14:57] JW: "lags and crashes and losses oh my"
[14:57] BBR: lol probably 'cause the chat box takes up half the sl screen
[14:58] Marco: so true EL!
[14:58] Marco: some of the things I have typed here have show-up out-of-order....reversed in order.

THE FRUIT OF HER EFFORTS or "SOMEONE'S IN THE BEDROOM WITH DINAH, SOMEONE'S IN THE BEDROOM I KNOWOHOHOH......STRUMMIN' ON HER OLD BANJO."
[14:58] Marco: WB hotpants!
[14:58] JW: hotpants? lmao you wish i had em marco
[14:58] EL: so many sl marriges have been ruined over lost ims take note JW
[14:59] JW: ha ha ha ha ha
[14:59] BBR: Wish I had some hot pants...all I got is designer diapers
[14:59] JW grabs her notecard and keyboard and starts keeping notes
[14:59] Marco: ooo haha. that's funny!
[14:59] BBR: frills on some
[14:59] BBR: lace on others

"PROFILE MANIA" or "TAKE A PICTURE, IT LASTS LONGER."
[14:59] Marco: Heyy, BB, nice profile!
[14:59] BBR: why thks
[14:59] EL: lol not notes from me, JW, mine lasted only slightly longer than the ceromony
[15:00] JW: oh my
[15:00] Marco: ya know, I kinda like to read profiles, lol
[15:00] EL: was a hell of a party though haha
[15:00] JW warns marco off hers
[15:00] JW: lmao
[15:00] BBR: So I have learned, by reading your blog for today
[15:00] JW: i dont wanna be your next victim
[15:00] Marco: haha
[15:00] JW: and i have incriminating photos lmao
[15:01] Marco: oooo really? *Marco tiptoes out of the room to have a look.*
[15:01] JW giggles and grabs marco by the seat of his pants
[15:01] JW: donchu dare lol
[15:02] Marco: EL! Yours is good tooooooooo
[15:02] Marco: ooo a DARE!
[15:02] JW: no no
[15:02] JW: its not
[15:02] JW: lmao
[15:02] EL: lol
[15:02] Marco: guess who will lead-off the next one!
[15:02] JW: keep your mits off my profile
[15:02] JW: lmao
[15:02] JW: not i said "the fly"
[15:02] Marco: 'all names changed to protect the guilty."
[15:03] JW: uh uh
[15:03] JW: i will hurt you and pull out my 9
[15:03] JW: lmao
[15:03] Marco: you will hurt me? promise?
[15:03] JW: lmao
[15:03] Marco: Nice picture JW
[15:03] JW: lmao i know what one you mean
[15:04] JW: and it wasnt my fault lmao
[15:04] Marco: gee...should I be jealous? a friend named 69?
[15:04] JW: lmao
[15:05] JW: hes a stripper at club sexxxy
[15:05] BBR: Introduce me to 69 plz ????
[15:05] Marco: hahaghahahaha
[15:05] JW: sure hes married tho
[15:05] BBR: and is he "bilingual" ??
[15:05] JW: lmao
[15:05] Marco: no, but he will make YOU bilingual, right JW?
[15:05] JW: there is colt from there too
[15:05] BBR: like the song, i mean *Winks
[15:05] JW: ha ha i wouldnt know hon
[15:06] Marco: lol

"REEL"-ALITY DOESN'T SUCK, IT LICKS" or "CHARM SCHOOL CAPERS."
[15:06] Marco: so who is the lucky guy that you reeled in?
[15:06] Marco: and is he still "reeling"
[15:06] JW: i didnt reel him, it was other way round, hook, line and sinker
[15:07] Marco: ooh ok...what kind of bait did you use?
[15:07] JW: marco
[15:07] Marco: loool
[15:07] JW: this is me we are talkin bout
[15:07] Marco: yes?
[15:07] JW: my charm of course
[15:07] JW: lmao
[15:07] Marco: Your charms?
[15:07] JW: being myslef lmao
[15:07] JW: myself dang it
[15:08] Marco: Well then, I can totally understand him being swept away!
[15:08] JW: awwwwwwwwww
[15:08] JW: you gonna make me cry lmao
[15:08] Marco: :)
[15:08] JW: thank you marco
[15:08] Marco: It must be the onions I am cutting up here.
[15:08] JW: mhm
[15:08] Marco: oh yeah?
[15:09] JW: mhm

ON BLONDS......AND CERTAIN REDHEADS
[15:09] Marco: um...JW,
[15:09] JW: yes?
[15:09] XS: toss 'em in a pan and saute them onions
[15:09] Marco: in the words of the immortal Jeff Foxworthy....
[15:09] JW: uh oh lol
[15:09] Marco: "You might be a redneck, if you have the name of some OTHER GUY mentioned in your profile!"
[15:09] XS: hi chatters
[15:10] Marco: Dark Angel
[15:10] Marco: ?
[15:10] JW: lmao
[15:10] JW: rofl
[15:10] Marco: Or is that just his nickname?
[15:10] Marco: Hi XS!
[15:10] JW: yes marco you freaking goof ball lmao
[15:10] Marco: HAHAHA
[15:10] JW: omg im rollin here
[15:10] JW: i have tears in my eyes
[15:11] JW: so you take back that redneck comment? lmao
[15:11] Marco: Oh ok,...I thought "Dark Angel" was the name of some old boyfriend.
[15:11] Marco: lol
[15:11] JW: omg no
[15:11] JW: lmao
[15:11] XS: open mouth...removefoot
[15:11] JW: he has black wings and a black halo lmao
[15:12] JW: lmao omg marco that is how i gave him the nick lmao
[15:12] Marco: oooook, so then you are not a redneck for THAT reason, but hold on, I will think of something.
[15:12] JW: hey marco
[15:12] Marco: yeah?
[15:12] JW: bite me
[15:12] JW: lmao
[15:12] Marco: ooo
[15:12] Marco: would he mind?
[15:12] JW: rofl
[15:12] JW: hes also a stripper lmao
[15:13] JW: but not for same club as 69
[15:13] XS: guess this is a personal chat...outta here
[15:13] Marco: ahhh. ok...we strippers have to hang togethr.
[15:13] JW: nah its not
[15:13] Marco: naaaaa XS.
[15:13] JW: yeah but i caught one lmao
[15:13] Marco: we are always crazy here.
[15:13] JW: i mean
[15:13] JW: one caught me
[15:13] JW: lmao
[15:13] Marco: ask MN...she is the craziest one here.
[15:14] Marco: So where is MN...pretending to NOT be lurking?
[15:14] JW: marco want a reason to call me a blonde at least
[15:14] JW: lmao
[15:14] Marco: now now...there are lots of brainy blonds around.
[15:14] JW: not this one
[15:14] Marco: do you paint white-out on your screen typos?
[15:14] JW: lmao
[15:14] JW: im the worst
[15:15] JW: when you said about having another guy named in my profile
[15:15] JW: i ran to look lmao
[15:15] Marco: hahaha

[15:15] JW: i will brb
[15:16] Marco: Say there XS
[15:16] Marco: Do you really vacation in RL to get away from SL?
[15:17] Marco: Am I the only one left here?
[15:18] Marco: G'night...I'm turning out the lights.
[15:18] Marco: "click"
[15:18] EL: nope just the only one still doing resaerch
[15:18] JW: im back
[15:18] Marco: hello there!
[15:18] EL: scared us all away with the profile threats
[15:18] JW: yeah really

"LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL, THE 4th, 5th & 6th TIME AROUND" or "PLEASE PASS THE TACO"
[15:19] Marco: What kind of research are you doing EL?
[15:19] JW: marco my sis made me get on the poseball
[15:19] EL: haha im investigating why anyone would have a second sl wedding lol
[15:19] EL: wasint before but am now
[15:19] JW: lmao
[15:19] Marco: Sl is the best place for research.
[15:20] JW: actually EL
[15:20] JW: i married the first guy twice lmao mistake both times
[15:20] EL: hahaha i've a friend, sort-of-friend like that, she's had 6 husbands so far and so many sl babies
[15:21] EL: i call her 4x4
[15:21] Marco: wow JW..was that because you had to do it twice to make it "take"?
[15:21] JW: lmao
[15:21] JW: i had issues marco lots of issues lmao
[15:21] Marco: EL, I have a friend who was on her sixth hubby when I was a noobie last August.
[15:22] JW: and she was a noobie too?
[15:22] Marco: god knows what she is up to now....nooooo she had been on awhile.
[15:22] JW: ohhhh lol
[15:22] Marco: but, she scared me.
[15:22] Marco: because within an hour of meeting her she was talking about moving to my area and moving in with me.
[15:22] EL: wonders if same friend surley there aren't that many sick avs about
[15:22] JW: well this is third and final
[15:22] MB: hi
[15:22] JW: so im only half of her lmao
[15:23] JW: 2X2???
[15:23] JW: lol
[15:23] EL: lol think she said that too
[15:23] Marco: Hi MB, welcome to our crazy chat :)
[15:23] MB: I been "listening"
[15:23] EL: thing is she still invites me to her weddings but my invite always says "please el no smart comments"
[15:23] Marco: were her initials, (deleted) ?
[15:23] MB: crazy is right
[15:23] Marco: haha
[15:24] Marco: goooood!
[15:24] EL: im like the mad aunt you have to invite but everyones scared as to what i will wear and do
[15:24] JW: omg EL lmao
[15:24] MB: i have one of those aunts
[15:24] Marco: haha, no smart comments? What fun is that? And will you wear a Fire-engine red dress?
[15:24] MB: she might just give you the finger
[15:25] EL: last one i wore a miasnow junkie skin
[15:25] MB: you never know what she'll do
[15:25] Marco: ewwww
[15:25] EL: her sl kid said i was scary
[15:25] Marco: I bet THAT was scary at a wedding! lol
[15:25] EL: said funny i was going to say the same about you
[15:25] EL: children of the damned springs to mind

SL BABIES or "THIS BUD'S FOR YOU."
[15:25] Marco: yes, i find sl babies to be a bit strange...no offense anyone.
[15:26] Marco: complete with "pregger" avs.
[15:26] EL: lol and pretend labour
[15:26] Marco: god.
[15:26] MB: kinda freakie for an adult to "play a baby
[15:26] EL: aye my ass, bet they dont scream swear words for 8 hours in labor
[15:26] Marco: YES MORIA! YES
[15:27] Marco: lol
[15:27] MB: makes me wonder if there ain't a pedophile lurking in the closet
[15:27] Marco: yeah, I mean why come to sl and live out a pregnancy fantasy?
[15:27] MB: what man would want to join in the farce?
[15:28] EL: haha a very sad one
[15:28] Marco: Like, I never understand those people you see on the dance floor who are in wheel chairs...I know a quad (-rapalegic) who plays in sl, and he runs free on good legs..that is HIS fantasy
[15:29] MB: wel, like they say, it takes all kinds.
[15:29] Marco: I guess so.
[15:30] EL: oh i have sl crutches but i can hit people with them so think there a nessisity in malls
[15:30] Marco: I know a gal who was preggers with twins in sl.....and a week before they were "due" her hubby dumped her for another gal.

"TIE A YELLOW RIBBON ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE" or HANGING MY HAT ON THE BED POST
[15:42] Marco: Well MB I have 8,983 gal pals in sl...so I am ok. thanks though.
[15:42] EL: some bed post you must have marco
[15:42] SD: lolz MB
[15:42] Marco: well, I don't know about the "bed" but my "post" is doing just fine, thank you for asking!
[15:43] Marco: Between SD, and TR, and JW, and MA, and SR, and SM..and ....CC,...and AD...I'm pretty busy...and that is just for today.
[15:44] Marco: Ohh, and BL, and let me see..
[15:44] MB: in sl probably so
[15:44] MB: think I pricked Marco, girls
[15:44] Marco: lol
[15:44] MB: better go before I get evicted
[15:44] MB: ;-)
[15:44] JW: awwwww
[15:44] Marco: actually, MB, I am a Master Flirter, and I belong to Flirters Local Union #59876
[15:44] SD: nah stay MB, u liven up the place :)
[15:44] JW: i was having fun watching a grown man squirm lol
[15:45] SD: lol, me too :)
[15:45] Marco: Yeah stay MB...these gals know I am all full of you-know-what.
[15:45] JW: it fuels me lmao
[15:45] JW: lmao mhm we do marco thats why we love you lmao
[15:45] MB: me too :-)
[15:45] Marco: lol
[15:46] Marco: I just enjoy the crazy talk.
[15:46] Marco: It is fun.
[15:46] MB: Marco can dish it out but he can't take it lol
[15:46] Marco: Sure I can.
[15:46] JW: hmmmmm
[15:46] Marco: I hear it all the time.
[15:46] JW wants to see what marco can take
[15:46] Marco: ooo
[15:46] MB: me too JW
[15:46] JW: lol
[15:46] Marco: Well Jess...invite me to the honeymoon.
[15:47] Marco: ;)
[15:47] JW: rofl i think i would have a problem lmao
[15:47] MB: been fun...have to cook dinner for my family..later
[15:47] Marco: by hun.
[15:47] JW: later hon hugs
[15:47] SD: bye MB
[15:47] EL: bye tc
[15:48] Marco: knowing you, the poor guy might need someone to "spell him" on the honeymoon.
[15:48] EL: im going to need to get this pillow unstuck from the back of my jeans
[15:48] JW: hey now
[15:48] JW: marco
[15:48] Marco: lol
[15:48] JW: i only made you need that
[15:48] JW: lmai
[15:48] EL: dog wants his bed back
[15:48] EL: night all
[15:48] JW: night hon hugs
[15:48] Marco: "Celia...I got up to wash my face, when I came back to bed, someone's taking my place."
[15:48] Marco: Remember that old song?
[15:49] SD: night El
[15:49] Marco: member? and that was in the 60's!
[15:49] Marco: Night El
[15:50] Marco: Night Grandpa! Night Johnboy!
[15:50] JW: lol

"A DELIGHTFUL ADDITION" or "What a Charmer!"
[15:50] AD: anybody here?
[15:50] AD: knock knock
[15:50] Marco: Hello AD!
[15:51] JW: i am
[15:51] Marco: welcome!
[15:51] AD: hey baby!
[15:51] JW: hi ya
[15:51] SD: howdy AD
[15:51] AD: hi all you nice people
[15:51] Marco: Goood, we have some fresh meat...I mean fresh blood.
[15:51] JW: oh god lol
[15:51] JW: run while you can girl
[15:51] JW: lmao
[15:51] Marco: lol
[15:51] AD: well, now, I'm in a feisty mood today...YOU might just be the meat
[15:52] Marco: ooo
[15:52] JW: lmao
[15:52] SD: lolz
[15:52] Marco: promises
[15:52] JW: oooooh marco's in for it lmao
[15:52] Marco: ohh goody!
[15:52] Marco: what exactly am I "in for?"
[15:52] AD: I never give out promises flirty boy...warnings is the word (grins)
[15:53] JW: hmmmmmm
[15:53] Marco: oooo
[15:53] Marco: sounds promishing.
[15:54] AD: <-----rumaging in my inventory for a sheer nightie (a lady needs ammunition before doing battle)
[15:54] Marco: man I am so tired..I was up all night last night
[15:54] Marco: just 2 hours sleep.
[15:54] JW: lol riiiiiiight
[15:54] Marco: WRITING JW. sheesh.
[15:55] AD: locate the key to the handcuffs and go to bed then dummy
[15:55] JW: im typing away on my notecard lol
[15:55] Marco: Like Groucho said, "I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth now and then."
[15:55] AD: she probalby placed it on the desktop where you can reach it ;-)
[15:55] Marco: ooo
[15:55] Marco: fighten woids

THE ACTION HEATS UP or "SOMEONE HAS A BUN IN THE OVEN"
[15:56] AD: later guys and gals...got a hot date in SL
[15:56] Marco: no, I know it is a surprise, but writing humor takes work and lots of re-writes.
[15:56] SD: have fun girl
[15:56] AD: you can betcha I will
[15:56] AD: :-))
[15:57] Marco: cool AD...a hot date? is your vibrator in the oven?
[15:57] AD: set on broil Marco
[15:57] Marco: hahaha
[15:57] AD: (grins)
[15:57] Marco: AD, explain my joke to JW.
[15:58] AD: now...if HE will just stand still long enough for me to use it on him......
[15:58] JW: ummm marco
[15:58] Marco: lol
[15:58] JW: im not totally dumb lmao
[15:59] AD: then HE will have sublime ectasy ;-)
[15:59] Marco: The line I use JW, is "Hey, I am not as dim as I look." that always gets a gaffaw.
[15:59] Marco: ooooook AD...TMI
[16:00] AD: ouch...that image even hurt me to think about...so erase all of that
[16:00] Marco: lol... too late...gonna be in the blog tomorrow.
[16:00] AD: bdsm ain't my cup of tea
[16:00] AD: ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
[16:01] Marco: How do I spell your name, M*I*S*S* H*O*T P*A*N*T*S?
[16:01] AD: yeah, like that's really being incognito
[16:01] Marco: "In" whom?
[16:02] AD: u might as well add my last name too, goofball

"THERE'S NO BDSM LIKE SLow BDSM," or "TIME TO WALK THE DOG."
[16:02] Marco: Nooo I don't get into BDSM either
[16:03] AD: lol
[16:03] AD: go to sleep Marco...that one went over your head
[16:04] AD: no way in rl would I take pleasure from humilating a man
[16:04] Marco: I was on a date in RL one time....she pulled out a dog collar & leash, wanted to wear it, have me lead her around the room......too freaky for me.....end of date.
[16:04] AD: not my thing
[16:04] AD: later all...my date logged on
[16:04] Marco: Well girl...I am going to go have a nap. and then write the blog tonight...thanks for stopping by y'all!
[16:05] SD: ciao AD
[16:05] AD: waves bye to all
[16:05] Marco: night SD, JW, Ama, and everyone else, I'm signing off.
[16:05] AD: kisses
[16:05] SD: night Marco, sweet dreams
[16:05] Marco: :)
[16:05] Marco: I will, thinking of all my sweet and nutty friends.

The End.
--Marco
~~~
Sayyyy, if you liked this posting today, would you tell a friend or two? Just copy/paste the paragraph below to a friend. Thank you so much!...

Wow, you gotta read the crazy, funny stuff this guy writes!
Read all about it today in Marco's SL Humor Blog at: http://marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/

P.S. There are two surveys at the bottom of the page. Would you take a moment and fill them out? Just scroll aaaaaaaaaalllllll the waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down to the very bottom of this page. Thanks!