KittyKat #4: The Invasion of Evil Marco and the Glue Missiles

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E Lodge, USA

So, in KitKat #3 I told you how KitKat handed my face to me, after I tried to wrap her up in a beach towel, prior to dosing her with modeling-glue-medicine for her tapeworm infestation.

So how DID I force that "medicine" down her throat, and what does that have to do with how we "bonded?" Well, just as modeling glue will "bond" two hunks of plastic together, so too this "glue medicine" bonded KitKat and I together, for life.

After coaxing her out from under the sofa, I cuddled and cooed her on my lap for a while to calm her down and prepare her for the next ordeal. Ladies, take this as a hint...the next time your man cuddles and coos at you--after pulling you out from under the sofa--then remember, he is about to force modeling glue down your throat to help you "bond" to him. And if he does this, what will you do to him?

Yep. That's what she tried to do to me too, but THIS time I had managed to get that beach towel at least partly around her; not enough to make her into a papoose, but, more like she was a little sitting pyramid. While she sat on my lap I wrapped the towel around her loosley, then tightened it just enough to keep her from flailing out at me. Just her little head stuck out at the top of the pyramid. That little hissing, twisting ball of cat-head poking out from the top of the pyramid looked liked a military radar dish scanning the heavens, looking for the evil Marco coming to invade her with his glue missiles!

Wearing welding gloves that were approximately 6 inches thick, I clumsily grabbed her scrawny neck from behind while attempting to shove that horse capsule down her throat. Of course just HOLDING the capsule was an event. Finally I took off the gloves. Like a surfer trying to launch himself and his 50 foot surfboard into the sea between waves the size of the Statue of Liberty, I waited for a lull between the flashing "Fangs of Death" and the violent hissings to launch my 50 foot horse caplet into her gullet.

Suddenly there was a lull, her mouth was wide open, I stuffed that caplet into her mouth like a star Quarterback firing his football to his receiver, clamped her little mouth shut, and "gently stroked her throat," just like the medicine insert said to do.

Success, it is in there! "Houston, the Eagle has Landed!" Except I was wrong. It was NOT to be "one small step for a man and one BIG step for mankind." Rather It was ONE BIG SPIT FOR KATKIND, I found myself wearing the caplet on my nose, and KitKat was back under the sofa, crying hysterically.

"Hmmmm, time to try plan B....whatever THAT is." I looked at the medicine insert again:

"If you have difficulty forcing the caplet into the cat, you will have to pierce the caplet with a needle, and squirt the glue directly into it's mouth. However, this will cause the cat to foam at the mouth a bit."

A bit. HA! Another understatement of the century! And I will tell you all about it tomorrow, in KitKat #5, (Catchy Title of the World-Shaking, Climatic, Titanic, Cat-Dosing Episode goes here!)

--Marco

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Read all about it today in Marco's SL Humor Blog at: http://marcosslhumorblog.blogspot.com/

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