Amusing--and Scary--Second Life Profiles Part 2

by Marcophoto Upshaw
AKA: Mark E Lodge, USA

I am a profile junkie. I look at every part of a profile...the 2nd life, the 1st life, the Picks, the Interests, the Web page....and if they have a partner listed, then I look at the Partner's Profile too. I don't know why I do this, but I do. Today I am presenting a selection of some of my favorites profiles. I have faithfully pasted the original type, so any grammar or spelling mistakes were made by the profile owner, and not me. I have commented on all of them, in this format:

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My comments are sandwiched between
these lines.
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Unlike my previous profile compilations, I have decided to list SOME of their real names, for two reasons, 1) They are a matter of public record...anyone can click on their avatar as they walk about, and read the profile. 2) If they put sensitive info into their profile, then they must WANT you to know these things about them. So, I am just helping THEM to "spread the news." However, if I made critical comments, then I disguised their name. I do not wish to embarass them. Most of the profiles are listed in alphabetical order.

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19940324 Elephant

Im interesting person :)


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Now, pardon, me but if you CLAIM to be an interesting person, shouldn't you at least TRY to make your profile interesting too? But that is ALL this person has in her profile. Total. Weird.
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Abey Ember

Looking around gor,once a free, her clothing was taken from her so she wears the clothes of a slave, hoping to blend in and not be seen.

Keeps a cutting stone hidden on her, *cant use this info in rp*

Rp limits: No death, no mulation, no head shaving,
if caputred and no rp after 30 min am considered Free, 3 day capture only.

Born in gor, she thinks her family was murdered, her father and mother both healers and scribes, she has two sisters and one brother. She hid while their home was being used as an outpost for oulaws. She escaped and has been on her own ever since, wearing clothes of a slave, roaming an blending in the cities and villages of gor. She is 18, knows only survival,

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Now, please explain this to me, why do people come to sl "to be free from the stresses of RL" and then allow themselves to be kidnapped and made into slaves? And from what I have read about the Gorean rp, it looks to me that the whole point is to let men romp around being "Masters of Their Universe" while women are subjugated and enslaved. This is freedom? I just don't get it.
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Abra Zabelin

~> Just exploring SL :-) Looking to meet interesting people.
~> Talk to me..I'm not THAT scary ;-)
~> I ONLY speak ENGLISH..sorry.
~> If I dont respond i'm probably AFK-please leave an IM.
-owns a pet crow , Titus, sorry if he's rude...
I'm one of those 'terrible' ppl with a free account! i camp, i explore.. but mostly ALL i see is horrid soul-less malls & clubs. SL _COULD_ be so creative...

31/female/UK.please DONT ask more :-)
i came here to explore a new world..not talk about RL.

No instant friend offers PLEASE:)

I Want To Build, Meet, etc,: but im still coming to terms with the inventory! ;-)

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Lol, yes, honey, we are ALL still coming to terms with our inventory. All the time, it is "The Never-Ending Story!" No sooner do I get that
sucker straightened out when WOOOPS! It is a total mess again. It is like playing with a "jack-in-the-box"...you go along merrily winding the handle, listening to the pretty music and all is well with the world, and suddenly, KA-POW!! Out jumps the horrid little clown and he messes up your inventory all over again! "Truly mother, I didn't do it! It was the inventory clown, HE messed it up!" (I think we ALL know who the "clown" is. ;)
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AA

So this is me....or isnt me....or what i want to be...or what i cant be... You know what, I am AA. An alter ego of a person that just doesnt want to be anymore. One that has been for too long. I dont want SL relationships, I dont want to be fucked with. I dont want my feelings to get played with again. So stay the FUCK away from me with your love bullshit, I dont want anything to do with it. Otherwise, I dun mind meeting new people, I love to talk, politics, music, sex, hell, ill talk about anything...

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WOW! Talk about juxtaposition! First she goes into a screaming tirade to "Stay the FUCK away from me with your love bullshit!" But then she adds, "But other than that, I'd LOVE to talk to you, heck I'll talk about anything." Oooooooooo K Can you say, "SERIOUS NUT JOB BOYS AND GIRLS?" Yikes! Sorry, AA, but I think you just might have a leeeeetle problem attracting friends with THIS profile.
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AdorableCarmen Castaignede

Hi! Nice meeting you...

I like people who show a mixture of
heart and head
body and soul
and who love the magic and the fantasy of SL ...
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Wow, short, sweet, delightful.
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Alecia Janus

I'm a casual laid-back girl ready to experience what Second Life has to offer.
English only. IM me before offering friendship.
Oh and if you are naked, chances are I will NOT give you the time of day.

I'm looking for intelligent conversation, so back off idiots!

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I loved it! "Not now Mr. Nakey!" You tell 'im girl!
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Alexandria Lunasea

Second Life is Second Life, I am here to help and have fun, not to make enemies. You are free to ask me questions about Second Life, but please do not offer friendship if I don't know you - I will not accept. You are welcome to visit and enjoy my properties, please do not litter on them, your items will be returned to you with a note.

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Ooooooh, look out boys, you better not leave anything on her property or
she will return it to you with a note for your Mistress, telling her what a baaaaad little boy you've been. "Twenty whacks on the back for YOU Buster!"
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Allanah Tomsen

HEY:) thanks for taking the time to look at my profile:p

Never stop searching your heart and your soul
Never pass over the chance to console
Never forget as a person you're whole
And never stop dreaming till you find your goal
............Allanah xxxx....

My main loves are writing and guitar:)

To see beauty in places where others walk by in disgust is something I try to do daily:)

Lightness and Darkness are both part of my soul and I welcome them equally:)

Skills: poetry/writing/music

Language: scottish

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"Aaach," I neer the Scottish twer a language of it's oon, but I shed 'ave.
"How thee dein? Tek a wee keek ah me?" he asked the lovely Dark Angel.
(Translation, "Ah, I never knew Scottish was.... How are you doing? Take a little look at me, will you?") Hmmmm, methinks she writes like an Angel of Light. She certainly was an "Angel of Light" to THIS clumsy youngster back in my earliest days as a noob, and she Illuminated MY Path, to be sure.
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Amaris Fall

Well if your looking at my PROFILE then you saw something you liked (smiles)Im single if you catch my eye I'll message you but if you dont good LUCK....Im looking for someone to treat me good treat me like the the Queen i know i am...I know my Knight is out there dont be afraid to message me I dont bite I just nibble...

1st Life
SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE NEED I SAY MORE.......

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Ooooo, and as long as we are speaking of the Queen, let me include lovely Amaris! "Kneel, you knave, and show proper respect to a Lady!"
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AmberLee Jewell

im a dirty girl. if you want me i know a fun place for us to go just i.m. me

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"And now for something completely different..." "Ooooo Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas any more!"
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Amaryllis Bulloch

Eyes were evolved for the physical world so the same rules apply even in SL since SL is predominantly a visual medium. Sometimes they can decieve you. Sometimes the image can be the illusion only being as real to your mind as you allow it to be. All is never as it seems both in rl & especialy in sl so it may be wise to keep this in mind & exercise caution even in this instance.

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Amaryllis, that sounds soooooo DEEP! I have No idea what it means, but it sounds.....deep!
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Amberly Moonbeam

Fun loving girl looking to make as many friends as I can..I love to laugh and make others smile. If you take the time to get to know me you'll find I have a very big heart and when I care about some one it's never half way. If we become friends we are friends for life, I'm very loyal!
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Here to make the best of SL. Always up for making new friends!!
My heart is spoken for. Realizing I'm the most lucky girl in SL. You've swept me off my feet baby.

1st Life
RL..what is this real life? *grins* ....Here to enjoy my SL!

I lay snuggled in my bed wide eyed and wondering..."Is this all real"..or just yet another version of reality?

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Yet another lovely-sounding gal, and she is "spoken for?" Durn it! Where was I?
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Amie Goode

See me and BB in the SL DOCUMENTARY Coming Soon!!
See our story. See us in RL, wow!

I am relatively "normal"...lol ; )

"Sir" Bluntly
Knight in blue jeans and t-shirt

RL, wow!!
From Bluntly's and my first RL meeting.
Yes, we're even hotter in RL!! ;)

Interests: Build, etc,: I'll try almost anything, once. :))

Languages: C++, VB, Java, JavaScript, xhtml...Oh, spoken? just English ;)

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Yet another speaker of foreign languages! And who is this "Sir" Bluntly, that dares to move in on MY territory (for, are not ALL fair maidens the territory of the Great Marco? Must I challenge you to the Joust, Sir Knight?
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Aquanetta GossipGirl

i like to "play"
i am really nice
and i like to look sexy at all times
i like the color purple
and i love a man that has a nice cosy house

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Lovely Aquanetta. You have to admire a gal who speaks her mind so confidently.
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Bessy Burns

Hello Avatar!
If i'm not answering i've probably just walked off to stroke a cat. Try IMing.

HOWEVER...

My IM's get capped all the time, so if its important drop me a notecard.

I'm always open to random acts of kindness. Especially if you show love by giving me money.

I'm 20, from London. I don't like cauliflower cheese.

I want to: Ride a white swan wearing nothing but a single crotchet glove

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Hmmmmm, Bessy! I really don't know WHAT to say about this one!
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CC

Here to play and have fun
Dont ask about RL you dont need to know

well what did you expect. What you see is ALL you get. Dont ask for MSN or web cam -

1st Life:
Below is everything u need to know about me :-
.
.
.
.
.
.
Get the idea???

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Ok, Ok, I get it! Sorry I asked. Sheesh!
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Emmy Pippen

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote,
that means they probably
don't know how to spell anonymous"

-unknown

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Emmy, you clever girl! lol.
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HITOKAGE INDIGO :
2ND life
I'm the cat who deliberately eats your plants in order to gak the remains up into your favourite shoe...
And cries for you in the night when I wake up from a bad dream.
I'm the cat who stares at you, stant-eyed and tail flicking, as if to say 'you stupid, stupid human'...
And then promptly falls off the back of the couch.
I'm the cat who makes certain you're watching as I begin to rake apart your furniture.
And fiercely cuddles your leg when I think you're asleep.

No wonder they call me Warugaki-ouji.

1ST life
Here, and in the real, we simply create selves upon selves... all are valid, all are genuine. RP does not exist. So why pretend you're playing a game? This is me. Always.

****25 year old bi androgene art student from Canada, taken IRL.****

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What a hoot, eh? (It is ok for me to say, "eh" as my family is from Canada, even though we live in Chicago, USA, and I really do say it in real life, all the time.) "Blaaaaat, eh?" *Marco sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry at you.*
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HELIOS ROAR :
2ND life
San Dimas High School Football Rules!!!

Dude, where's my car?

Champ Car ROCKS!!!

and so does Juan Pablo Montoya.

What, I have more characters left? Oh. Alright then. I thought I could just use a bunch of little slogans. No? I have to what? Describe who I am? *lol* Like that's going to happen. What? No, really Linden-dudes, not going to happen.

So... any questions, IM away.

Helios

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What? Is this yet another clever chap? Marco does not know if he can stand for all this competition.
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MICK MERRICKS :
2ND life

Hung like Einstein and as smart as a horse :)

1ST life

Be Kinder Than necessary 'cause Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of Battle'

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Ha ha ha...
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BOURSIN BURGER :
2ND life

I'm here to meet new people and have some fun in this interesting little social experiment.

My name (pronounced boor-SAN if you're French, BOOR-zin if you're not) is a delicious French cheese that goes well with bread, cheese, wine, chicken, and - you guessed it - Hamburgers!

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Good one Boursin! Pass the Chardonay, will you?
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KINSEI OH :
2ND life

I've decided to donate my body to science - a branch of South American science that's working on a manufacturing process that will allow them to convert corpse heads into soccer balls. It's written right on both my drivers license and my medical alert bracelet: HEAD DONOR! In Event Of Serious Injury or Death, Mail Head To Av. San Martin 475, Pucallpa, Peru, Then Burn Body And Freeze Ashes For Reanimation By Scientists Of The Future - unless they're apes, in which case don't bother.

1ST life

dance, sad clown. dance.

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Ahhhhh, very good my "grasshoppers"...you are obviously paying attention in my "Flirting 101" classes, and learning how to engage the females of our species with such delightful humor.... It is so refreshing to see my Straight A students learning how to flirt so artfully, and to move so far past the "Wanna Fuck?" lines they started with! Bravo Men, Bravo!
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The End. For now.
I still have 11 million, 500 thousand OTHER profiles to review.
So, give me a couple weeks.

--Marco
Marcophoto Upshaw

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DID YOU LIKE TODAY'S BLOG? Hate it? Please tell me either way! Often, it feels like I am sending these blogs out into a "black hole" lol. So could you add a couple of comments for me? I would really appreciate it. :)
-- "Marco" Marcophoto Upshaw