Wrong Chat Windows...or...Insert Foot Here!

by Marcophoto Upshaw
(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)

One of the funniest things that ever happened to me in Second Life ® also left me gasping for breath and wanting to die. I call it the "Balls of your butt" fiasco.

Have you every typed into the wrong chat window in Second Life ®? We all do it. It is part of the Second Life ® experience. We all have times when we are IMed by five or six people at the same time. And though it is considered rude to talk to more than one person at the same time, it is hard to avoid. I will be talking in IMs to one sweet-young-thang--I'll call her Sexy 1--when word seems to get out that MARCO is online, and 5 other sweet-thangs will start IMing me. What's a poor sexy boy to do? I can't just ignore them, I don't want to risk hurting their feelings. Besides, everybody needs a friend...me included...and I like talking to my friends. But what am I going to do? Schedule them?

Me: Ok sexy 2, I am talking to sexy 1 right now....and I want to devote my exclusive attention to her, so I need to schedule you. Let's see, can you call back in 10 minutes?
Sexy 2: Stick it where the sun doesn't shine buddy!
Me: Was afraid you were going to say that. :(

RINGGG!
ME: Hellooo?
Sexy 3: Helloo handsome, why dontcha come up and see me sometime?
ME: Hi Sexy 3, I can fit you next Tuesday at 5.
Sexy 3: But can I fit YOU in? CLICK

Sexy 1: Marco, what is taking you so long to answer?
ME: Sorry hun, 5 other Sexies were calling...I had to answer them.
Sexy 1: Well answer this! CLICK!

Of course there is not really a CLICK sound; that if pure fiction. But you get the idea.
My point is that I can't really ask people to call back later, though sometimes I try to use my Busy message:
"Mr. Casanova has a cutie pie in bed with him right now. You are next in line. Please allow me to show HER a good time, then I will show YOU one. You are male? Please exit the line. Thank You, --Marco."
It is the most effective Busy message I have ever used, but when I have it on, people tend to think I am "doing the nasty." I wonder why? It doesn't really matter though because most people tend to just chatter away anyway and expect me to answer.

So, though I hate to do it, I usually just chat with them ALL at the same time, dashing from one chat window to the next. I will post an answer to Sexy 1, and while waiting for Sexy 1 to answer, I will dash over and open the chat window of Sexy 2. Quickly I read the last remark from Sexy 2, post a reply, then dash over to Sexy 3. Read, respond to Sexy 3. Dash to Sexy 4, read, reply to Sexy 4. Dash to Sexy 5, read, reply to Sexy 5. Now back to Sexy 1. Repeat whole process. And again. And again. And again. And on it goes, a finely choreographed juggling performance, something like juggling 5 foot-long razor knives. All is well as long as you catch each one and toss it up in time to catch and toss the next. But if you miss one, lord help you!

That's how the "Balls of your butt" fiasco happened, and boy was it a doozy.

{Editor Marco's Note to CrowGurl: Quote: "This saying, “It’s a doozy” is an expression that...originated in the 1920s reflecting the awe with which the public regarded the American-built Duesenberg automobile....and the brand became commonly regarded in the United States as the world’s finest, hence the expression." (From http://www.gizmag.com/go/5985/)

I was making love to a sweetiepie. We were having a goooooooood time. :)
But at the same time, I was monitoring the DI Host Chat Line for Dance Island, where I worked as a Host/Security Officer. Part of our job description was to monitor the DI Host Chat Line at all times when were were online. That way, if an emergency arose at the club, someone on staff would be aware and could respond. So I'm making love. ..."oooo baby, right there!" When the Host Chat line window popped up. "Dang, NOW?" I thought to myself? But to my relief, I saw that several of my coworkers were online and chatting, so that meant I would not have to "pull out" and rush off to work.

DI Host Chat Line:
TVgurrrl: No host/security at DI!!
MsHotButt: soooooooo
MsHotButt: any yet?
SmexyRed: yep
SmexyRed: a few minutes
OoohLaLa: i am going there in a few mins
MsHotButt: mmmm ok
MsHotButt: I might come too

I turned my attentions back to my present "work." My sexy-young-thang had just rolled up on top of me and I had my hands on her rear. In a moment of sheer ecstasy I typed to her, "feeling the balls of your derrier is such a delight." I hit send, and looked up at her chat window and discovered: my message was not in her window? "WTF? Where is it?"

Suddenly it hit me....with a sense of pure panic I looked up at my DI Host chat window, and THERE IT WAS!!!!!

DI Host Chat Line:
Marco: "Feeling the balls of your derrier is such a delight."

HOLY SHIT! My blood froze in my veins, my eyballs bulged from their sockets! My mouthed dropped open, I gasped in pure shock! Here were four of my co-workers who definitely saw what I had just typed, plus untold numbers of OTHER co-workers who were just lurking, not typing, and as I gasped for breath, their reactions began to appear:

DI Host Chat Line:
OoohLaLa: ok marco..
MsHotButt: wth did u just say marco?

Through the cloud of shock and horror that froze my brain, came the thought, "Must respond to the DI Host Chatters with a cooly thought out response." So with stiff fingers, I forced myself to slowly type out:

Marco: oh shit

To which the Host Chatters responded with these comforting words:

MsHotButt: hahahahahaha
OoohLaLa: wow

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! What did I just do?" I wanted to die. For the first time ever I had the urge to crawl under my desk, curl up into a ball, suck my thumb and whimper. Actually I did whimper, and managed to type:

Marco: *BLUSH*

To which my co-workers mercifully responded with:
OoohLaLa: rofl
MsHotButt: wth is "balls of a derrier"????
MsHotButt: lmfao
OoohLaLa: a butt
MsHotButt: but balls?
OoohLaLa: lol
MsHotButt: oh yeah
OoohLaLa: im marco for details lol

Marco: *BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH*

OoohLaLa: ------------------------------- end of convo ---------------------------

Marco: for clarification purposes...I was referring to holding HER ass

SmexyRed: hehehe

Marco: *BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH**BLUSH*

Marco: lord

OoohLaLa: marco..
SmexyRed: shame on you Marco^

Marco: yes...that is what I get for READING the Host Group IM while making love.....Please forgive me for not ahhh..."comming in" right now.

OoohLaLa: omg

I was just sooooooo glad I had not typed the name of the girl into the start of that famous line... "Ohhhh CutiePetutie, feeling the balls of your derrier is such a delight." Ha, ha, "CutiePetutie" was a co-worker of mine at Dance Island. The staff would have just loved THAT. Oh boy, that would have been unbearable.

Actually, by this point in the convo I was starting to breathe, and actually started laughing a bit...and soon it turned into gales of laughter as I howled along with the rest of the staff over this gaff of mine. It took a long time to live down the notoriety of that event, but eventually we all forgot it, though we do have a chuckle over it from time to time.


But, do I still maintain 5 conversations at once? *Looks coy* "Maybe, maybe not....maybe I do but tell a little fib to cover my tracks?*

Sexy 1: What's taking you so long to answer Marco?
ME: Oh baby, my foot got tangled up in my computer cords and I pulled the whole thing off the desk onto my foot...darn that hurt!
Sexy 1: Ohhhhh baby, come to mama, let me kiss it!
ME: Hmmmm, actually honey, you know what, I think I pulled it off into my lap!
Sexy 1: Oooo let me kiss it.
ME: *grin* I was hoping you would say that.

*********

Did you like this post?  If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for me below?  Your kind words keep me inspired!  Thank you!  --Marco