(AKA: Mark E. Lodge, USA)
NOTE FROM MARCO: The first part, "How NOT to flirt," is Part 11 of Evelyn Zehetbaurers "Memoirs of MY First Year In Second Life." The second part you will understand AFTER you read the first part. ;) --Marco
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"How NOT to Flirt" by Evelyn Zehetbauer
Hello dear friends of Marco!
Recently my friend Marcophoto Upshaw started a blog series about how to flirt in Second Life ®.
Yeah that was funny, but well I knew very very early that this kind of literature is a must in a world where somehow most guys I meet do not know how to flirt. Well here are some examples of totally weird flirt trials. I think you can relate to these I think.
At first I loved to flirt! It was just fun. I would meet nice people have a nice conversation. And often I was flirting with an intelligent and cute person (doesn´t matter if it is a male or a female, both genders are fine for me, *smiles*). Second Life ® is a cool place, but well in fact you first have to find the intelligent cute person to flirt with. And here is our problem, most people do not know how to flirt with me. The answer could be, that I´m just the strange one, making people feel uncomfortable. "Make em go away; leave me alone, *sniff*." Must be all about me, :(
NO of course not, because some of those "flirts" are just a disaster!!!!!
Let´s start with a classic.......
Him: "Hello Evelyn"
Me: "Hey!" [wait, wait, wait.............]
Him: "How are you?"
Me: "I´m fine, thanks, and you?" [wait, wait, wait, wait, wait............]
Him: "Yeah I´m fine, too! Where are you from?"
Me: "I´m from Germany, and you?" [wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, somehow you feel like you called your internet Provider "Please hold the line...." and you decide to ask: "Are you busy?" knowing you wait for another three minutes..... but hey answer comes after two and a half minutes:
Him: "I´m sorry I´m writing to four different Ladys at the same time. Yeah I´m from [please choose a country you do not like]."
OK, ahm if he had told me he is was in IM hell ok, that could be.... but ahm, telling me he is writing to four other ladys besides me? ahm why? Or is it me and we Germans still bringing terror and cruelty to people's minds? But then I saw that a newb lady came up to him and began to dance with him and I knew, this guy is not one to flirt with, :(
There are other ways to bring a "flirt session" to an instant stop, such as asking the question, "And what about your RL?" Hammer! Somehow you found someone in Second Life ® that you liked, and now you are talking to them for about half an hour, (and sl brings so many things people can talk about, you can even talk about the health of the Queen of England if you meet a British or Australian guy). But please do not ask "And what are you doing in RL?" Damn nooooo, this is an SL flirt and I do not like questions about my RL when we just met 30 mins ago! Maybe this is where I am wrong, and I know everybody has a different opinion about what you tell about your RL. But in my opinion my answer would be, "In RL, I´m working, having hobbies and having a good time with my boyfriend; but in SL I tp to the next spot where maybe is a different prince or princess that saves me now!!!!!!"
Here is another example of a flirt disaster:
Him: "Hey, how are you Babe?" - [Did he call me Babe without knowng me? but hey maybe he can be a nice bloody vampire breakfast for me.]
Me: "Hello Sir, I´m fine. Thank you. And you?"
Him: "Yeah I´m great. You look hot!" - [Yes I know because I made this avi.... I built it and I spent some Linden love to make it like it is and yeah I think this avi looks hot! That´s why I made it like that!]
Me: "Thank you! You look nice, too!" [You have to know something about the word "nice" in my vocabulary: nice is the little brother of the word boring! But I have to find a vampire conclusion, cause, I´m hungry. I had to decide this diplomatic answer]
Him: "You´re looking very very hot! *smiles*"
Me: "thanks! *smiles back*" [maybe he sees my fangs and shivers or just melts and his neck directly falls to my strongest weapon (my fangs) and my thirst has an end!]
Him: "Are you naughty?" - [WTF????? waking up... recognizing that most of his blood is found below his belt...... nah I won´t bite there maybe it would bring fun to him.... baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh]
Me: "ahm please?"
Him: "are you naughty? do you wanna fuck me?" [he must have a bloodless brain cause ALL of his blood must be in his penis.....]
Me: "Well I don´t think that you will ever fuck me in my whole life!"
Him: "Aww common, sl is just made for this. Don´t tell me you would not like it! So come on, I have a nice skybox!"
Me: [I TP away]
So is it just me? Or am I living in a bad second life world? Be addicted together
Eve
{Note from Marco....at the conclusion of the above article, Eve started a contest looking for someone to write to her THEIR favorite "flirting disaster" story. That contest has now concluded, and the article to follow was the winning entry. It is called, "A Flirting Disaster in Two Acts."
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"A Flirting Disaster In Two Acts", writtten by Serenity Snook, for **Eve's Blog Group**
Flirting in sl :-) hmmm can be really curious. So what can you do on a boring sl day? You go out to meet people and see if you find someone kewl to flirt with hehe…
My favourite place to look for cute boys is Secret Reflections…there are always some crazy guys to talk to!
So one day I went there again to see who´s running around there :-) I sat down on my mushroom and watched the people coming and going. Hmm yea there was a cute boy sitting on a bench but…lets wait and see if somebody else crosses my way. But then I received an IM from this boy on the bench lol…"Hey sweety you're not rezzed all the way.” Oh really? Thank you! I went on edit to rezz….better now? "Yea very much better…damn you look sexy!!” Thanks :-)
Hmm is this the right beginning for a conversation? Should I go on talking with him? Don´t know :-/ lets wait and see what happens. What happened was that he came over to sit down next to me! Ok so far…why not? He continued, "Hey sweety you are really sexy, I love your legs.” Ahm…compliment? Horney? Ok give him a chance…we will see. Ok then we had a bit of blah blah blah conversation, not really interesting…between his constant compliments.
”I love your eyes”…my eyes? They are black boy…are you blind? Ok maybe he likes black eyes whatever. And then…”kisses” between every few sentences. Kisses? Not from me lol! "Hey sweetheart wanna go somewere else?”…aaaaaaaahm what?? Your only choice is to go to the beach, that’s it! Ok we went to the beach and I sat down on a towel, and what did he do? He sat down on my towel WITH me! Stoooooop! Can you please take the next towel?? “But that is so far away from you sweety.” :( He took the next one. "I want to sit closer to your sexy body.” Nooope sorry! Hey I don’t know you boy!!! "But I want to cuddle you and hold you tight and kiss you, love.”
WHAT????? Sorry is everything ok in your head?? Answer: NO!! I have only known you 20 minutes! So what happened next was, he stood up and walked away! Ahm…you go because I don’t want to cuddle with you after 20 f*****g minutes??? “Yes…bye.” Ooook I really can't live with this! What a nut! Lol ok I will find a better boy to flirt with and not one who wants to fall all over me after 10 minutes!
OK here we make a little jump ….maybe 2 weeks later…
Again we have a boring day….what shall I do? I went to my favourite place again….on my beloved mushroom, lol. Not 10 mins later I get an IM; btw I hadn't noticed that someone was around because I was reading notes and sorting my inventory. So I get this IM: "Hey sweety you are not rezzed all the way.” Hmm…ok thanks. I didn't say anything more to this person after rezzing and went on sorting.
"Hey that is much better you are really a sexy girl” Stooooooooop, THIS sounded familiar, let me remember: yessss 2 weeks ago!Let's take a look at his profile….YES this is that same nut who wanted to cuddle me after 20 mins! How stupid must he be to run the same poor number again with me! So I answered…you don’t remember me right?? “No did we met before? Sorry if I forgot” Yea you know me…you ran the same number last time!
"What number?” The "you are not rezzed" number, and so on. "Oh maybe, yes…I tped away." *Rolls eyes* what an idiot! But what now?? He sends me another IM: "Hey wanna go somewere and talk a bit?” Thank you I had enough of you last time. "Why…what happened?” he asks. What happened was I remember how fast you ran away, so no need to waste my time again. "Yea I am very involved in rl sometimes and have to go fast then” Oh yeah, sure, believe me it was not rl!!! "How do you know? I think it was RL.” Believe me it wasn’t….you said very clearly why you went away.” He asks, "what was the reason?” Try to remember boy…I am not going to waste more of my time on you!!! His answer? SILENCE.
Yessssss. Hmmmm, I'm curious who he tried this on the next time. Nuts like this boy are really not needed in sl :-§
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Did you like this post about "living" in Second Life ®? If you did, would you take a minute and leave a comment for us below? Your kind words keep us inspired! Thank you! --Marco
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